Tuesday, February 18, 2014

RANDOM MUSINGS ON THE EIGHTEENTH

This night may look like it was just like our usual nights together, or so I thought. It was on perfect timing to have met such great people from your peers, their story tugs my heart just remembering it. 

We haven't had that type of talk for quite some time, heart to heart, ideals to ideals. I noticed how I've been far from you since you came. Far emotionally, far physically. Thanks for the heads up.

I can't sleep. I kept thinking how much special you've made me feel ever since you've met me. I never even asked for it. Lately I've been feeling taken for granted, not special, or that I don't deserve what other ladies are experiencing... because I was so busy looking at the other side. I kept on pushing something that isn't there, while you're busy pulling me back. Thank you. Salamat, for making me feel like a princess once in a while. For spending some of my special time with you. For remembering me on the simplest gestures to the random thoughtfulness (I keep even the smallest of surprises). I feel bad not being able to remember you as much as how you remember me. 

Please don't blame yourself for being far from me for quite some time. I honestly don't believe in long distance, but I believe you deserve that break. I lost a fan when you went away. I lost a constant confidant on my plans, dreams and setbacks. I somehow lost confidence in the past few months, but I almost forgot, you have always been proud of me.

I am sorry if you felt detached from me already. To be honest, I don't deserve what you're showing me. But right now I am overwhelmed to get back to reality and realize that I have someone who values my worth, my needs, down to my wants. Even when I am least deserving of it.

I am sorry, one day you'll understand where I'm coming from. Thank you for making me feel special and loved again, even if I got lost along the way.







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