the ambivalence of it all

RIP STEVE JOBS

2011-10-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

Just imagine what you have contributed to the world. It's like having a monument to each households! I am amazed on how you achieved so much, at a very young age. I guess you have served your purpose here already. Thank you for changing how we listen to music, how we communicate, how we exhaust technology!

Your name may not be familiar to some, but all your contributions would always be much appreciated and enjoyed.

You turned a small irritating animal into a very (and I mean very) useful tool... the mouse. And of course, you made a one of those usual fruits, into a world wide brand of sophistication, portability and pleasure... Apple!

Thank you Steve! I am very sure that the Lord would be very delighted to experience the wonders of your iPad =)

MY MESSAGE TO JAMES SORIANO

2011-08-28T15:38:00.000-07:00

There was an article published on Manila Bulletin, probably around August 24, that brought up commotion on social media. A friend tweeted about it few days ago, but didn’t get the chance to even take a glimpse of the link. It’s long weekend so I decided to browse the net, for about, um, whole day? Was about to sleep since it is 4am already, until I stumbled upon the said article, the article of James Soriano. Whoever that guy is.

The article entitled “Language, learning, identity, privilege” deliberately insulted the Filipino language. I was shocked to read that from a Filipino, who was raised in the Philippines, and is still in the Philippines. Aside from the obvious reason on how a Filipino can insult his own language, what really surprised me is how one can actually be too polluted with what we call colonial mentality. Too polluted that it can actually betray its own identity.

I have to admit, I hate the Filipino subject. I am sure many hated it as well: it’s boring, difficult and downright confusing. But the Filipino subject isn’t just about the technicalities of speaking Filipino, it is not just for practicality, or even for formality’s sake. Studying Filipino is like reaping our culture. It is not just about ‘pang-abay, parirala, or pangngalan’, Filipino subject is also about ‘bugtong, alamat, nobela’. Those riddles, tales and novels that our Filipino writers wrote and is shared from one generation to another. Could you English “eto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka” and still find it amusing? The Filipino subject introduced Florante at Laura, Ibong Adarna, and how can one disregard Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo. Have you read any of Francisco Baltazar and Jose Rizal’s writings? In the whole world, very few can understand and feel the sentiments written on those magnificent novels. But bring out any of the Twilight series, and prepare to share the same mediocre emotions among the rest of the readers. That’s something for them to envy about. Just imagine the French, having their romantic language, no need for any cheesy Twilight verses (sorry for being bitter about Twilight though, haha).

Filipino subject is boring, difficult, confusing: a picture of intelligence indeed.

Filipino as the language of the streets. Filipino as the language for tinderos, maids, manongs. THIS BECAME QUITE HARD TO GRASP. C’mon, they all have one thing in common, well 90% of them I guess… they didn’t finish school, primarily because they lack funds. So does that mean that Filipino is for the unlearned and poor? Or that the English language is the embodiment of cleverness and wealth? I can’t blame you if that’s how you see it. Somehow I would blame society, for the apparent line between the rich and the poor. Never thought though that this line dictates how one speaks from another. You came from a good school, heard you’re an Atenean, a place where you breathe in the smell of money, of cars, of businesses, of intelligence… and of the English language. Most probably you were brought up by your parents in a world where in you get to mingle only to those of the same perception of life as yours, and so your only discernment of middle and lower class are your helpers, and of those in the streets. Can I not blame you for that?

I would have to agree that the English language is very important in one’s career: Thesis, essays, interviews, client meetings, just few of our English combats. But as a Filipino, our own language is also very important in one’s life, yes life in general. May it be in your career, family, friends, partner, the Filipino language will be your salvation. For no matter how articulate you have spoken the English language, at the end of the day, the words “Salamat”, “Mahal kita”, “Pasensya”, would still mean more than the overrated ‘I Love You”. What I am trying to say is, though I would want my future kids to practice the English language well, it is because I want them to have an extra gear for confidence, but I won’t disregard our own language. My future kids will learn how to say “Po” and “Opo”, and would consider our language, not as a basis of social status, but as a country’s medium for unity, communication, and pride. Ironically he preferred to use it as a means of discriminating one class from another.

I could raise all my eyebrows up when he said that the Filipino language is not the language of the learned. This is one of the most superficial judgments ever. Without all hypocrisy, I would want this article to be in Filipino, but I have always been frustrated for not being able to write fluently in that language. And that for me is ignorance. Not being able to speak the language of your own is ignorance. And pushing that the language of another land is but the best… is betrayal. I would still understand how you were able to write those things about the English language, you have been a product of western dominance. But what I don’t understand is why you have to write such things about the Filipino language, it’s like stabbing the Filipinos themselves, and you’re a Filipino too, that’s what made it more painful.

On the other hand, I would like to thank you. Your article opened up my eyes on the effect of the years’ past to the present generation. Your article made me love my language more, I never imagined I would defend the Filipino subject, I won’t be surprised now if I ever would defend Mathematics someday! Your article has been very timely to actually contemplate on this month’s preservation of our native language.

Lastly, thank you for admitting that you are worse than a stinking fish… but sir James, you live here, in the Philippines, and the least you can do is to not let us smell it too.

CHIP IN FOR CHIP

2011-07-24T04:33:00.000-07:00

This is Hero ‘Chip’ Abrera:

And this angel needs our help. With whatever amount, or any helping hand you may offer, will surely be a step forward for Chip’s recovery.

To my readers, if you may kindly help me spread this information, I will forever be thankful! :)

Like it on FB HERE

and check out THE WEBSITE for complete information

TINGALA SA BABA

2011-07-12T02:16:00.000-07:00

TINGALA SA BABA

One of the short films in Nestle’s Kasambuhay sa Habambuhay.

This is my favorite among the 10 films. A light satire that depicts the lopsided life of the rich and the poor. I personally like how they used the seesaw as an instrument of power and humility. No need for big stars and for complicated settings. Brilliant script. Kudos Sir Henry Frejas =)

I hope our mainstream-commercial movies would focus more on a good script, rather than on love teams and trying hard horror flicks.

GAY TO THE WORLD

2011-07-10T12:31:00.000-07:00

So again, my blog became quiet for, well, a very long time. June has passed, and my mission to write something in commemoration with LGBT pride month, obviously failed. For the benefit of those who aren’t aware, June is actually LGBT, or Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender, Pride month. A time to be proud of your sexual orientation!

With all due respect to the acronym LGBT, I don’t think the letter ‘B’ should be there anyway. Bisexuals? Well, I don’t really believe on the term, I mean Bi- Sexuals, having two sexualities. Some say that you are a bisexual because you like the same sex and/but still like those of the opposite sex, but for me, you call yourself a bisexual because you play safe, preferring to be called such for it sounds better, and well, basically in denial. Whether you’re still attracted to those of the opposite sex, I don’t care… that’s still gay! And there should be nothing wrong with that.

I remembered this supposed June article tonight because one of my closest gay friend texted me to let me know that he and my other gay buddies missed me tonight at Obar Ortigas. Sundays became an Obar night for me for the past months. It’s a bar at home depot and malate mainly for gays, but of course everyone’s still welcome to join the partey! It’s kind of fun to actually go to a bar without being too conscious on whether you look perfectly pretty and hot enough or not, since of course no one would bother to hit on you after all. I would even be the one to apologize every time they would accidentally bump my chest, haha!

Many of these gays I must say are good looking, some are social climbers and some are shy. It’s a different clubbing experience. I don’t get to pick a guy to dance and flirt with. I don’t expect someone to give me a drink. It’s not the bumpin’grindin’ fun you’ll intimately enjoy, but the aura that these happy people give is enough to make you shake the dance floor!

One thing I noticed on gays too is that they have this certain need for class. And I guess that’s one thing that us girls love about them. It’s like they are made to conquer the world of style, creativity, and yes, fashown! Perfect example are these three famous gays on their own respective field: Jake Galvez (a beauty artist); Matt Gozun (a fashion stylist); and Buern Rodriguez (a hair expert), all hosts of the podcast: Becky Nights, a show that exposes the everyday journey of beckies, a slang term for gays. I learned this through my officemate, who happens to be, what else… gay! Live every Mondays at 9pm, catch them on Ustream and laugh at their mishaps and gossips. I thought these three won’t click coz they’re like a lil bit intimidating for the ‘common’ listeners, but what made them more interesting is that they built a bridge between people of high fashion, or as what Tricia Gosingtian would like to put it: “fashion forward”, with those people from the middle class (I have to exclude the lower class, like they even have Ustream right?).

There is this saying that a girl’s life won’t be complete without having a gay friend. I guess, I would have to agree with it big time. I am very blessed to have this certain relations with gays, I mean I am not the ‘babaeng bakla’ type, but I always have this instant connection with those of the 3^rd sex. Maybe one thing that connects me from them, aside from enjoying the entertainment of backstabbing haha, I suppose it’s the way we love someone. The way we treat love and relationship, the despair and the longing for that special person.

Gays - If there is one word to describe them, it would be IRONIC. They are one of the happiest people on earth, but they also carry some of society’s hurtful judgments. For most gays I have known, pride in relationships are not important, they give their everything, but in return, they are also the same people who are easy target for cheating, for being used, for being maltreated. Lastly, Gays for some may seem weak, may seem helpless, like they can be easily pushed down, but you know what, some of the strongest people I’ve known are actually members of the third sex.

Gays carry the sensitivity of females, and the strength of males. I cannot imagine life without these fairy godmothers. I just hope we can all see their worth. And for those men who love to ruin their lives, please, they have bigger balls than you! For every member of the gay community, thank you, your natural intelligence, wit and charm will always be appreciated. And for every heartbreak that you will encounter, just have faith, I know relationships for gay people is not easy, but at least love yourself. We, girls, need guys like you: loyal, sweet, brave… and beautiful… coz baby you were born this way! Hahaha! =)

CRAYON DREAMS

2011-07-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

This is an independent group who volunteered to help the kids of White Cross.

Show your love and support by giving your donations on July 23, 2011. For other details, please feel free to email (fao_rani@yahoo.com) me.

God Bless! =)

ALIVE ALIVE!

2011-05-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

I would just like to apologize for not being able to update my blog,

ow yes I am still alive =)

I am preparing to write one probably this week,

I feel that this is the best time to press down some thoughts...

coz sometimes writing is just seasonal, sometimes writing

is just like praying, you only remember it when you're sad.

And there's a hint right there, yes my life sucks as of the

moment, and I have you, my blogspot, to turn to...

but not right now coz I'm at work =)

Speaking of work, there's this super duper uber hhhooottt guy,

like my ideal guy, only I am not sure if he has the brains, someone who is

intellectually stimulating, someone I can talk to and actually learn

something from it.

But nevertheless, he's hot, and that's all I need this summer =P

also accidentally became a contestant for a drinking game:

5 shots of different hard drinks, and then 1 whole liter of Colt45,

ano ako baliw??

to think that i drink VERY slow, I never expected any chance of winning.
And I am right... I lost =D

Right after the game, I sat down for a while, stood up, went to the cr... and vomited big time, urgh!

And ow, lastly... SPAMMERS GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BLOG!

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD PROMOTE YOUR SHIT SOMEWHERE

ELSE PLEASE!

That's all... yes I'm still alive... tadah! =D

VICTIMS OF LOVE

2011-03-06T01:15:00.000-08:00

gmanewstv

Student Shoots Girlfriend Before Shooting Self In Manila
03/05/2011

(Updated 6 p.m.) A college student shot his 17-year-old girlfriend in the face during a confrontation inside one of the classrooms at the Universidad de Manila on Saturday and then shot himself, a radio report said.

According to a dzBB report, one of the students who witnessed the incident said the shooting happened on the third floor of the school building at 11:20 a.m., involving the suspect and his girlfriend, both freshmen students taking up political science.
Their names have been withheld as both students are minors.

The radio report said that two were supposedly arguing about the girl's being two months pregnant. She allegedly wanted to have the baby aborted but the suspect reportedly objected to the idea.
However, a later report on GMA News TV said that the girl had actually been trying to break up with the suspect but was threatened several times by the latter. On Wednesday, the suspect had allegedly threatened to kill the girl if she tried to break up with him again.

Wilfredo Lial, a freshman, said the suspect then rushed out of the classroom and opened fire at the students. The suspect then tried shooting himself in his temple. The report did not indicate whether other students were hurt.
"Noong una tinutukan niya ng baril iyong babae, tapos nagpaputok pa siya uli, kami na ang pinagbabaril niya," said Lial.
The report said the suspect used a cal-38 pistol.

Authorities have yet to determine how the suspect was able to sneak the firearm into the school premises, it added. Investigators are checking reports that the shooter's father is a policeman.

The girl was rushed to the Manila Doctors Hospital while her boyfriend was brought to the Philippine General Hospital. Classes in the university have already been suspended due to the incident.
As of this posting, there was no report yet on the condition of the two in the hospital. The school has yet to issue an official statement. —

Mark Merueñas/LBG/TJD, GMA News

Sometimes I wonder how love can actually transform you to being either the most beautiful fairy in the land, to being the most gruesome monster alive.

Or maybe both. Maybe love does give you both of its extreme consequences. That bliss at the start, and that remorse at the end. 17 year olds, minors, how can love poison you at a very young age. You are yet to know the most hurtful things love can do… and you are yet to discover the magic love can give you, if only you had handled it well.

I am a bit depressed right now, and this story did became a wake up call for me, that hey, you are just like those two freshmen victims of love. DO NOT LET LOVE CONSUME YOU. At the end of the day, yes, we are all victims of love… but c’mon, we are also our own suspect. Love slowly, we only have ourselves to blame.

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

2011-01-17T09:29:00.000-08:00

(Ashton Kutcher , Natalie Portman)

"No strings" means no jealousy, no expectations, no fighting, no flowers, no baby voices. It means they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, in whatever public place they want, as long as they don't fall in love. The question becomes- who's going to fall first? And can their friendship survive?

AND THERE GOES A MOVIE FOR ME =/

get more movie reviews from MTV!

13 ROUND FRUITS

2011-01-01T12:26:00.000-08:00

Filipinos borrow many traditions from the Chinese, and the idea of letting go of bad luck/bad spirits and ushering in good luck for the coming new year is the overall theme for Filipino New Year celebrations. Come late December, fruit vendors set up their stalls in more convenient locations so that people can get easier access to round fruits. You see, preparing 13 different kinds of round fruits (apples, watermelons, oranges, kiwi, etc) during New Year’s Eve is said to bring good luck and prosperity to the family for the coming year. Why 13 round fruits, you ask? 13 is a lucky number to the Chinese, and the fruits’ round shape resembles coins. Hence, wealth and prosperity. Eating 12 grapes at the stroke of midnight (one for each month of the year) is also said to bring wealth and luck.

(source)

So did you do this last New Year's eve =)

GREETINGS!! =)

2010-12-31T04:44:00.000-08:00

Let's see if I'll be able to write a new year blog entry. In the meantime let me post these photos instead =)

BELATED MERRY XMAS AND

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

REGINE MADE ME CRY

2010-12-30T13:53:00.000-08:00

I was able to watch Regine Velasquez and Ogie Alcasid’s wedding special entitled “A Duet to Forever” on GMA7 last Sunday night. I really looked forward for it since it’s the wedding of two of the most prominent singers in the country!

But what I really got excited with is the time where in they would have to say their wedding vows to each other. I mean, wedding vows, these are composed of words coming from the bride and the groom… coming from their hearts. Those aren’t dictated by the priest, those aren’t read on the bible, those are words that they wrote themselves, and with that you would be able to feel just how much love they have with each other. And with Regine’s vow, no doubt about it, she knows exactly how lucky she is.

I saw myself drowning in tears as I continue watching the wedding vow part, damn, I was literally laughing at myself. My mom is with me in the living room, but she is sleeping. Lights are closed, I am hugging a throw pillow, and then “sniff… sniff”, my gawd, I can’t stop crying! I was even checking my mom every once in a while to see if she’s looking at me. But you know what, I am grateful that I only got to watch it on TV, with only myself to notice me. Coz much to my dismay, I ALWAYS CRY ON WEDDINGS. Let me describe it in Filipino… ‘walang palya!’, haha! Yeah I can’t remember a wedding I attended where in I didn’t drop a tear or two.

I was able to coordinate 3 weddings already, I am not the organizer for the whole event but I am part of the team, and just imagine a coordinator, someone who is supposed to walk from every corner of the room to check if everything’s okay, will suddenly stop… stare at the couple… smile, and then whoala, cry. And when reception comes, if the onsite video happens to have an oh so dramatic music, again, I would cry. Tsk weddings, why you wanna make me cry huh? Haha!

I don’t cry sad tears, I don’t envy couples, I don’t pity myself. I cry because weddings, for me, are moments of hope. And if I may go back to Regine and Ogie’s wedding, I cried so hard on Regine’s wedding vow because she indeed gave me hope.

Regine Velasquez, as we all know, also shared a roller coaster love life. She was even caught between the regine-ariel rivera-gelli de belen triangle. We would often see her sing, sometimes get to watch her on film, or star in tv shows, but we would also sometimes wonder… when the hell will she get married, she’s getting old! I remembered asking that couple of years ago, I mean she’s like Mariah Carey (again? haha), divas who almost forgot that you cannot actually marry musical notes. Well of course not until Nick Cannon showed up at Mariah’s doorstep. And Ogie Alcasid, well, their musical notes touched each other’s lives =)

Regine was tagged as a stealer when she and Gelli de Belen had a conflict because of Ariel Rivera. And then some people judged her negatively once again when they knew about her and Ogie’s relationship, since Ogie was popularly known to be the husband of Michelle Van Eimeren. It wasn’t a smooth journey for Regine on the love department, and the more I saw myself in her. I was claimed as a ‘bf stealer’ twice too, and just for everyone who can’t relate to this situation, sometimes we too are victims of circumstances.

“Tinanong tayo ni pastor kung bakit tayo magpapakasal, mas madali daw kasi maging single… pero hinde. Nung dumating ka sa buhay ko, pagod na ko… at malungkot na ko.”

And then she sang Apo Hiking Society’s ‘Di Ko Malimutan’

“Naging mahirap ang simula natin. May mga pagkakataong sumuko ako, patawad mahal. Hindi ko naman kasi alam na ito pala ang sukli sa lahat ng paghihirap na yun. Mabuti na lang at hindi ka sumuko, maraming salamat.”

“I have never been so happy in all my life, thank you!”

I would often tell St.Jude to give me the man on whom I will spend a long term relationship with, I am not asking for the man to spend forever with, just some years would be fine. Coz I have never been in a long term relationship. I haven’t experience anniversaries, only months, before I thought that it’s something that I can be proud of, but now… I want years. Don’t get me wrong, I am no geek, I date guys and I had many relationships already, I am not sure though why it won’t always work out. Every time I would attend get togethers with long time friends, I would always expect someone to tell me ‘oh bago na naman yan?’, or ‘break na ule?’, and sadly, some would even say ‘sana magkaron ka na ng pangmatagalan fao (or rani), tumatanda na tayo’.

I know that, you guys don’t have to repeat it over and over right? But it’s okay. Coz I know that they’re exactly the same people who would cry on my wedding day, because finally, their wish for me came true.

I would like to consider myself as hopeless romantic, the idealistic one, the blogger who writes about wedding vows while listening to ‘The Weepies’, the girl who goes to St.Jude alone and tells herself that someday, she would go there with someone to call her own. Well it did happen actually, twice in five months. One guy last May, and then another guy last September, hmm, let me reconsider that.

Despite all uncertainties, I will still not get tired; I won’t lose hope on love. I will keep on praying that a good relationship will come my way. I would often tell my friends how lucky my future husband is, because I have saved a big space here in my heart to the man I will spend the most number of years with.

If the time comes where in I’ll get tired, or probably lose hope on love already, I know that God reserved a man for me, just in time to make me realize that all this waiting, and praying, they’re all worth it. Regine’s vow made me realize that years may gone by, but one day, someday, the wedding you’ve been imagining will come true. That someday I will be that bride, in front of the Lord, with my friends crying because the girl who used to cry all the time because of the wrong boys she chooses is finally facing her forever.

And just the same, I will still cry… I will cry as I utter my own wedding vow.

I will cry, still cry, because the hopes, dreams, the prayers, and wishes are finally coming true.

VINDICATED (Hubert Webb Acquitted)

2010-12-14T11:04:00.000-08:00

( in connection to this post )

I woke up to the ear-splitting sound of our telephone ring lunchtime today. My friend called me up to congratulate me because Hubert Webb is finally acquitted. I was surprised and rushed to turn the TV on, and then there he was, on his orange shirt, sitting with the bunch of media men inside the press conference room of the New Bilibid Prisons in Muntinlupa City.

For 10 minutes, I still continued to surf channels and look for other news related to it just to be sure, coz honestly, it was unbelievable. It’s not that I became hopeless or I disagreed with the decision of the Supreme Court, but because the results were really sudden. Even their families aren’t prepared for the good news. But then again, if it’s good news, no matter how abrupt or surprising it is, it is still good news! =D

Just to be clear I am not related to the family at all, like what I’ve written on my previous blog related to Webb, I have always been interested to the case ever since I was 12 or 13 years old

Hubert and 5 others were given the release order at around 4pm. My mom and I watched until past 4, until Hubert finally steps out of the Bilibid prison, get into the car, and drive away to the land of the free (America?) haha! I remembered when Elizabeth Webb (Hubert’s mom) arrived at the conference room, she gave her son a tumbler with water right away for Hubert to drink. And my mom said “Pinainom nya pa si Hubert, naalala pa nya magdala ng water for her son”. It’s a simple gesture, but we find it moving. My mom and I agreed that by just looking at Ms. Elizabeth Webb’s character, you can tell that someone like Hubert couldn’t do such thing. Sometimes a mother’s love, pain and tears can speak a lot on their son’s burden. It’s always the mother who’s there to defend their son, take Hayden Kho and Jason Ivler’s case as examples. Again, just looking at their mothers, you can tell the truth of the matter. But that’s beyond the point. The reality is just so surreal, like I became hopeful on our justice system. I know many would oppose and say otherwise. But I would always be confident that the Webb’s evidences are way credible than the other party. Just to make it clear, I made sure that my opinions are substantiated prior to writing.

Seeing Lauro Vizconde’s break down wasn’t easy of course. If only the people around him helped him to move on and consider the other factors. He had closed his mind that it’s Hubert Webb. He instilled into his beliefs that the justice system is corrupt. For 15 years Hubert is in jail without enough credibility from the other party’s star witness Jessica Alfaro, but still Lauro considered the justice system unfair. For 15 years Hubert has been brave to accept all tests just to prove him innocent, but he was ignored and remained in jail. Still Lauro believe that the Supreme Court only favors those with power, when in fact Hubert being convicted took away all the family’s good reputation already.

Wherever the real suspect / suspects are, I beg you to surrender. It’s hard to accept that Lauro Vizconde will have to start again from step one. That he still has to be hopeful because if he can’t, then who else will lead this fight. That he still has to trust God despite all the uncertainties. That someone that old should still continue to fight for dear life because despite the feud between those who believe on Hubert Webb and those who don’t, in the end, we all want one thing… peace of mind for Lauro Vizconde, and rightful justice for his family. I will pray for you sir Lauro, I am happy for the Supreme Court’s decision, no doubt about it, but despite that I am also saddened thinking that the real culprit is somewhere out there… probably spent the last 15 years being nonchalant about this (just thinking of the worst)… and that sucks.

I got teary eyed on some parts while watching the live feed of Hubert’s release, like I am watching an ending to an ambivalent teleserye. Like there’s a healed paralyzed man you’re excited to tour around, like a comatose patient lost in time, like the pause button finally played again. For 15 years and 4 months, he was in jail for something he has no knowledge of. Buildings, technology, roads, fashion, everything has changed, he doesn’t know how to drive anymore for sure. But after 15 years, one thing remained; it is hope, his family… and the truth. For everyone who commented and judged me wrongly on my previous blog, let’s just hope for the best for Lauro Vizconde. And for those who agreed with me, cheers to us. For Hubert Webb, thank you for being an inspiration. Go ahead and seize the day. Bring back the 15 years lost and shout to the world that you’re free, you’re out and praise the Lord, you are finally vindicated!!

..i just learned today that according to Article 90 of the Revised Penal Code: "crimes punishable by death, reclusion perpetua or reclusion temporal shall prescribe in twenty years." This means that 20 years after the Vizconde Massacre on June 1991, the criminal liability of the people behind it would be extinguished.

Twenty years after... June 2011... the candle of hope and justice is running out of flame, lets move quick, we don't want a teleserye without ending.

CORY AQUINO'S SWEDISH MEATBALLS

2010-11-28T03:01:00.000-08:00

My mom tried it… ‘sabe ng mom’ di kasing gaya syempre.. haha!

Here’s a recipe of one of Noynoy’s favorite comfort foods. This was often cooked by President Cory Aquino during their stay in Boston from 1980-1983.

Turns out, Noynoy loves meatballs either in spaghetti or Swedish dishes. “Mom’s meatballs were huge!”

Former President Cory’s Swedish Meatballs

Meatballs:

2/3 kg ground beef

1/3 kg ground pork

200 g celery

50 g garlic

Carrots, finely chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

In a bowl, mix the above ingredients.

Form into balls, then deep fry.

Set aside on a plate.

Sauce:

250 g button mushrooms

2 c all-purpose cream

Onions

Garlic

Liquid seasoning

In a separate pan, prepare the ingredients for the sauce.

Saute mushrooms in little garlic and onions.

Add cream and seasoning.

(from here)

..it tastes good btw! =D

THANKS!

2010-11-22T07:01:00.000-08:00

weehee. i am nominated once again for the Philippine Blog Awards!

Only this time the category's quite awkward haha. but it's actually pertaining to this post, for a single-post category, so there you go! THANKS AGAIN PBA AND FOR THE

NOMINATION!

MUCH LOVE =D

The Philippine Blog Awards (for Luzon) will be held on December 12 at RCBC Plaza, Makati.

----------

UPDATE.

I am also nominated for this category

Now that's more like it =D I didn't won last 2008 and I am not expecting to win this year, but being nominated is more than enough! Congrats for the other nominees!

ROSARIO

2010-11-08T00:08:00.000-08:00

ROSARIO - STUDIO 5'S ENTRY FOR MMFF 2010.

My friend tagged me this on fb. I was impressed with the prod.design =) i hope philippine cinema would continue to flourish.

"Her love and her passion will be her greatest tragedy"

ON HUBERT WEBB

2010-10-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

The list of shows I watched tonight is a bit heavy for the soul actually.

The first one, The Final Destination (4) on HBO. I really don’t know why I am such a fan of this gruesome movie, but ever since Devon Sawa started the premonition of deaths, i just became enthusiastic with the plot. Haha. After watching it I decided to switch to Star Movies, and Drag Me To Hell didn’t ended yet. I saw myself laughing at some parts of the film, but the heck, this is one crazy movie!

And lastly, I watched Cheche Lazaro Presents: Dalawang Mukha Ng Hustisya on ABSCBN. A documentary about the Vizconde Massacre. Being a Communication student, documentaries and the like really gets my attention. And this one, i must say, is well done.

Anyway, what really struck me with the show is how it got me to sympathize with Hubert Webb. The primary suspect for the murder case. Investigations for unresolved cases and its mysteries are just some of the stories that I enjoy watching. I can still remember how this murder case became a hoopla in the 90’s. But at that time, my basis for judgment is only what I see in the television, I mean, I don’t have my own speculations, theory and logical explanations for it. The media says its Hubert Webb who has to go to jail, then I have to hate him, just because.

I also remember Jason Webb!! I remembered my friend Cello (she is Ms.Ganda, the one who sang Payong,tagalog version of Umbrella), we were classmates during our freshmen yr. in St.Paul and we would get excited to watch the progress in the Vizconde massacre, bec.I like Jason Webb and she likes Hubert Webb =) I saw Jason again on TV, and just the same, he looks adorable and cute… but of course a lot older.

All the memories I can remember about the Vizconde massacre came back. It’s not like I was involved in it, but I recall, maybe being an aspiring media practitioner as I am, I was very eager to watch all the news related to the case. I remembered hating Hubert Webb. But realizing now… was it really Hubert Webb who should be there in jail for 15 years?

The US Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) certified that Hubert was in the US from March 1991 to October 1992. The Vizconde was murdered at June 30, 1991. There was even a video of him and his relatives playing on the snow with the date 1991 on the lower right corner of the screen. Lastly Hubert also requested for a semen sample of Carmela Vizconde if it would match his, since Carmela was raped before being murdered. After 13 years since Hubert requested for it, the Supreme Court finally agreed. The NBI, however, informed the Supreme Court that it no longer has the specimen and other laboratory reports, photographs and documentary evidence related to the case because it turned these over to the Parañaque RTC in 1996.

The family is very hopeful that the DNA test will be there salvation since if the Supreme Court couldn’t show the said specimen, the chances of Hubert to be released is higher.

Don’t get me wrong though, I also sympathize for Lauro Vizconde, the father of the family. How can I not be, he lost his wife and children while he is in the US. This is his fight. But then again, how can he still say that the justice system is unfair and that those with money and power are the ones who always win, when the accused Hubert Webb has been in jail for an agonizing 15 years.

I apologize for having a biased opinion, but I just based this primarily on evidences. What is Jessica Alfaro’s inconsistent statements against a certification that the accused is abroad the day the incident happened and that the accused is brave enough to challenge the court for a DNA test. I don’t know how I never considered these factors way back. Maybe because I am not that critical yet. Or maybe because Mara Clara influenced me that the underdog is ALWAYS right. I really don’t know, but so far, I am convinced that it’s not Hubert Webb.

I just hope that Lauro Vizconde would not be naive to consider all factors. I mean, would he rather have no suspect or accusing a wrong one? Whatever it is, the truth will always prevail, I believe on that. It will… in time… hopefully soon.

update is HERE

CONDOMS AND RH BILL

2010-10-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

NANAY: Anak? Bawal makipag-sex. Bata ka pa! Baka mabuntis ka.
ANAK: Bawal bawal ka diyan! And so what kung bata pa ako? Makikipag-sex ako kung gusto ko no. May condom naman. So hindi parin ako mabubuntis. Ang sarap kaya! Try mo!

- from tumblr.

benta yung joke!!

pero yung point? di ren.. matagal na po may condoms, langgam lang ang may di alam nun. matagal naren sinasabing one way to prevent unexpected pregnancy is to use condoms. so why blame RH bill? dahil ibibigay sya ng libre ng ilan at dahil madali na syang makukuha/mabibili? then what makes you? a freeloader? gumamit ka lang nun kase libre? ano ka purita? tsaka, matagal nang madali makabili ng condoms, sa dinami-dami ba namang nagkalat na Ministop noh!

admit it, most couple use the withdrawal/ calendar method, sabay tanong: 'sure ka nilabas mo?'.. BOOM, 9 months after.. 'feeling ko di mo nga nalabas' haha! c'mon c'mon, PATI BA GOBYERNO MAMIMILI PARA SA INYO? IT'S YOUR CHOICE, IF U WANNA GET PREGNANT, DO SO, GOOD LUCK SAYO, AS IN GOOD LUCK! =D

HELLO BOY!

2010-09-15T11:47:00.000-07:00

DONT LET INSULT, FEAR AND GUILT HINDER YOU FROM FULFILLING YOUR DREAMS
- Boy Abunda

Just got home from an interview with Mr. Boy Abunda, but we had some drinks after so the update’s quite late, haha.
I have always admired him and his words =)

WANSAPANATAYM IS BACK!

2010-09-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sure many of you are familiar with ABSCBN's fantasy series every Sunday night entitled 'Wansapanataym'! The show that makes values formation a lot entertaining.

Well guess what, it's back! Here is a teaser of Wansapanataym, coming this September, still of course in the Kapamilya network! Bring back FLAMES too! hahaha!

PS: I used to cry on its theme song =( haha!

IN A MAJOR WAY =)

2010-08-24T05:07:00.001-07:00

CAREER MOVE NI VENUS.. VASELINE ENDORSER =P

IM STILL PROUD OF YOU.. TOP 5 OUT OF WHAT.. 82, 83 COUNTRIES? NOT BAD!

THOUGH FORGIVE US FOR THE ‘MAJOR MAJOR’ JOKES.. ADMIT IT, IT WAS KINDA AWKWARD. HEHE. BUT THEN AGAIN, THANKS FOR LETTING US FORGET YESTERDAY’S GRIEF AND FOR A WHILE, WE SMILED… IN A MAJOR MAJOR WAY =D

FLIPTOP

2010-07-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

FLIPTOP- THE FIRST FILIPINO RAP BATTLE LEAGUE.

You guys should check fliptopbattles in youtube. These young emcees are really good. Creative with their lyrics, funny and clever at the same time. Another talent of Filipinos that we should be proud of!

Believe me, they’re funny at times, although you might wanna turn down the volume in case you don’t want your parents to hear those people cursing each other hehe.

Some may not understand its sense… but i see art in it, check my profile and it isn’t really something that would give you the impression that I appreciate these stuff, but surprisingly I did, I was really impressed with the freestyles, and that itself is art!

I personally like LOONIE, DELO, TARGET AND SKARM… who’s your favorite? =)

KIDS OH KIDS!

2010-05-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

SERIOUSLY?? Gawd.. tricia santos has now become a trending topic in twitter. Well to be honest.. i felt really really sad. Not because on what happened to tricia but with the reality of character shown on these teenagers. International housemates proved to be a lot more mature than those Filipinos. A reflection of a bigger picture in the society. Btw, that Joe, his morals are way darker than his skin (sorry, sorry).

And now going to the fan page. Honestly those fan pages are soooo polluting the good image of Facebook. I am appalled on some certain 'admins' who act as if they're all that. I don't really like joining fan pages.. I have like 6 or 7 pages and they're all related to my interest and passion like digital art, music, and the businesses of my friends. Some pages are way senseless, pointless, vague, conceited, hypocrite.. and i'm sorry.. but dumb as well!

PBB biased all the way, teens killing the ozone layer for being so plastic, fan pages and admins that are even worst than reading a Jejemon text message... these certain petty parcel of my time do irritate me and i actually don't know why. Kaasar =/

JUST GOT INKED

2010-05-15T08:20:00.000-07:00

A FIRST TIME VOTER!

GOT SCARED AT FIRST.. PERO I SMILED WHILE SHADING FOR GIBO’S NAME ALREADY. PARANG THIS IS IT, A FULL PLEDGED SUPPORTER ALREADY =D

whoever wins.. sana hindi si *illa* hehe =)

HAPPY VOTING 1ST TIME VOTERS!

ps: i didn’t fall in line, as in dere-derecho.. swerte!

TEAM G1BO!

2010-05-07T07:07:00.000-07:00

it is such a privilege to be one of the organizers on last week's event sir =D

I AM SURELY PRAYING.. AND HOPING.. AND PRAYING AGAIN.. THAT YOU WILL BE OUR NEXT PRESIDENT.

INTELLIGENT, OF GOOD CHARACTER, FRESH, DOESN'T NEED ANY OVER THE TOP ADVERTISEMENT AND FAMILY MEMBERS TO PROMOTE HIMSELF..

HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST!

seriously.. let's vote for G1BO.. i have never been this passionate of a supporter to a candidate. Maybe because I am so sure that I ain't going on the wrong direction.

GREEN GREEN THIS MAY 10... NUMBER 8 BABY! SULONG GIBO!!!

WOW IT'S BEEEEN A LONG TIME!!

2010-05-07T06:51:00.000-07:00

I lost inspiration to blog. Hai. Anyway let me share some random thoughts.

1st.. drink all you can at CANTINA.. for P115 only! why am i stuck here at home? simple lang.. di ko ren masusulit ung 115 dahel i dont really drink (as much as possible) beyond my limit. sayang lang ung 115 na yun.

2nd.. i was supposed to go to Gibo's meeting de avance, but didn't, a certain client needs to meet me asap. sorry gibo =( i watched the live streaming instead =)

3rd.. Coheed and Cambria here in Manila on July 30? Man this year is the sh*t! Kings of Convenience, Dashboard Confessional, JT, John Mayer, Tears for Fears.. AYOS! More details on the coheed and cambria concert soon at manilaconcertscene!

4th.. saw this link at twitter (I dont have twitter.. i was just lurking at Bubbles Paraiso's tweets) and became more proud of my bet G1BO! I'm also happy that Ruffa G's for Gibo. i love her! and so is Raymond Guttierez, Miriam Quiambao, Daphne Osena Perez! Posh people love gibo =)

5th.. again.. gibo.. again.. sorry im a passionate supporter! i was watching 'You've Got Mail' when my mom and i realized that gibo looks like tom hanks! =D

6th.. I just watched DEAR JOHN.. and damn it made me cry.. shameless to say.. i was crying a lot when John was talking to his dad in the hospital, argh! I actually thought I wouldn't appreciate this.. but yeah i did. Good thing it didn't primarily focused on love. AND WHOA, CHANNING TATUM is delicious as always, I've always been a fan baby boy =)

AYUN LANG. BORED. MAINIT. CIAO! =D

formspring.me

2010-04-11T03:33:00.003-07:00

Ask Me anything http://formspring.me/faorani

what's your favorite movie and why? :)

2010-04-11T03:33:00.001-07:00

shox. madami! pero sige i'll name two.. phone booth and terminal.. what's common bet.the two? besides the uber charming main character (colin farrell & tom hanks).. eh they only use one setting. phone booth and airport, ang simple nung plot but exciting ung sub plots,basta astig =)

Ask Me anything

ANOTHER SCARY COMMUTE STORY

2010-01-19T08:07:00.000-08:00

from kristine singson

BEWARE: PUTANGINANG (selected) CABS/TAXI »

January 13, 2009
Superklasse Wednesday

After four months of not going to a club (LITERALLY), I finally did to show some support for one of my best friends, Mel and to see friends who I haven’t seen for the longest longest longest time. It was the first time I’ve ever set foot in Encore (to think I used to go to Embassy every week). It felt surreal to be out and without my boyfriend, LJ, who couldn’t come due to an early class the following day.

I only had 4 drinks: 3 Amaretto Sours and a Mai Tai. It felt good seeing a lot of my friends. We took so many pictures that my fully charged camera went low bat. Anyway, Mel and I decided to leave Encore by 2:30 A.M. Our friends stayed behind since the club closes at 3 A.M. Mel and I were taking separate cabs since she goes home to Mandaluyong and I to Makati. I WAS COMPLETELY SOBER. Not even a bit tipsy.

I remember telling her as we were leaving the club “It’s my first time going home in a cab alone from this club.” Mel was a bit concerned, even offering me to stay over her place for the night.. I told her not to worry, I ALWAYS get home safely.

So we went to get our cabs and I made sure Mel got into her cab first. Then I was looking for a cab who wouldn’t fix the price (you know how it is at The Fort) and there was one who volunteered that he’d use the meter. So I took his offer. I distinctly remember most of the waiting cabs were DAVIS cabs. Mine was not. And I was so damn stupid not to get his taxi’s name and plate number.

In the middle of the ride, I started changing into regular shorts and top. The driver wasn’t looking though but suddenly his hand reached for behind and I was surprised. He was saying, “MAY NAHULOG. Wallet mo ata.” I found a 50 peso bill on the floor. Then he said, “Ang dami mo sigurong pera. Mayaman ka noh?” I didn’t answer. I started getting nervous. I started looking for the cab’s number (which is usually written on the side of the doors). There were faint markings but it couldn’t be understood. The driver noticed my agitation and said, “Anong hinahanap mo? Plate number? Bigay ko sayo.” I was like, “Never mind.” I did NOT want him to know I was getting nervous already. Plus we were so near my house. I thought, what could go wrong?

But something did. Three streets away from my house, the cab driver “hit” a pothole or hump or whatever. He pulled over to the side and said, “Tangina, pano na yan? Na-lock yung steering wheel. Hindi ko maikot.” I was just looking at him, confused. I have no knowledge of cars so I do not know if he was bluffing or not. The meter was 75. I gave him a hundred. He had no change daw so I was like, “Fine, whatever. There’s nothing I can do about it.” I stepped out of the cab, in the middle of Bautista Street, a long street but near my house. It was almost 3 A.M. When I looked back, the cab was gone.

HOW IN THE WORLD WAS HE ABLE TO DRIVE AWAY IF HIS STEERING WHEEL WAS “LOCKED”?

I called my boyfriend up AND THANK GOD HE ANSWERED HIS PHONE. He was sleeping already, good thing the call woke him up. I was trying to remain calm. I told him my dilemma. Suddenly an empty cab drove by. A DIFFERENT ONE. I hailed it. I had probably less than half a kilometer to my house which was three streets away. The cab took me in and I ended the call.

Two more lefts, it was my house already. It was Camalig Street, then Bigasan Street. Suddenly the driver went left, the street just right before my house, Camalig. I said very politely, “Kuya, MALI. Atras ka, atras ka. Sa kabilang street pa. One more left.” The driver just kept driving like he didn’t hear. I said it again. Then he stopped and looked at me. Then he said, “Bayaran mo na.” I was weirded out. I was like, “Why? This is not even my house. It’s on the next street.” Besides, we haven’t traveled far. The meter was still at 30 pesos.

SUDDENLY, without warning, the driver grabbed my neck and jumped to the back. My first thought was, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?”. But his grip was getting tighter and tighter. I literally couldn’t breathe and felt my consciousness slipping. As we were struggling, I kept scratching at his eyes and reaching for the lock of the left door. He was on top of me hitting my head repeatedly while his other hand around my neck. I was choking and choking when I realized the left side HAD NO FUCKING LOCK, which means I couldn’t get out. Which means I had to try my luck on the right side. Imagine my struggle to get to the other side as a full grown, heavyset man kept bashing my head, scratching my face, pulling my hair and hitting me. I kept scratching his eyes. It was all I could do. When his grip loosened a bit, I managed to open the right door with so much effort. Unfortunately he pulled me back with my hair. Imagine MY TERROR as the door closed again!!!!! I couldn’t scream anymore. Besides, who would hear me I was inside a fucking car. My neck was so sore and I was close to fainting. I kept scratching his eyes and reaching for the door until by some miracle, I opened it fully and screamed with what was remaining of my voice.

The driver said something like, “Tangina, it’s not worth it.” And literally kicked me out of the car. I rolled out onto the street with my shoulder bag which was slung around me the whole time with its remaining contents. The driver suddenly sped away. Till now, I don’t know his motive, whether it be rape or hold up. Or both. Or murder.

So there I was in the middle of the street, barefoot. Then I realized why the hell am I so wet?! I realized I was sitting in a pool of my own blood. There was so much blood dripping from the right side of my head, it was like a half-closed faucet if you get what I mean. I started screaming for help.

This time the apartment I was right in front of lights’ went on. Imagine the horror on these people’s faces as I literally crawled towards them bloodied and barefoot. When I reached out to them for help, I saw my arm. It was covered in blood. And I could feel that I was losing so much more. I asked for a cellphone. I still had the consciousness to call my boyfriend. The people who took me in were nice enough to let me call. They talked to LJ and informed him of what happened. They even cleaned me up. Suddenly there was the barangay people and witnesses. That’s when everything became hazy. The barangay people said that they had to take me to the hospital because I was losing so much blood.

I was taken to Makati Medical Center ER. I still remember as I was being loaded onto the wheelchair the horrified looks of the people outside the hospital. I even had a high school batchmate who was assigned as my nurse, Erika Bautista (THANK YOU SO MUCH). In her own words she said that when I came in I looked like I was already in critical condition. I am not exaggerating when I say this: I WAS LITERALLY COVERED IN BLOOD. Head to foot.

Everything was in a daze after that. All I remember was the blood. Under my nails, on my face, on my hair, on my neck, my chest, my legs, my toes. Even my armpits had blood. Truly, I have never seen so much in my whole life. My face started bruising up so much I could see my right cheek even if I look straight ahead. I also had so much hair falling out because the guy kept on pulling it. But what bothered me was the blood that kept dripping continuously from the right side of my head… and the pain. The doctor said the cut was so deep it LOOKS LIKE I WAS STABBED. It was really bad. I wouldn’t stop crying. I hate the sight of blood and here I am, a walking bloody blob. My first medical gown was drenched in blood. So they had to change it. I changed my medical gown four times before I was discharged. That’s how bad the bleeding was.

When LJ arrived the hospital, I forced myself to be cheerful. I smiled and said “HAPPY MONTHSARY!” It was our 2nd monthsary. Geez what a way to spend it. Till now this hurts me, thinking how ironic the situation is. He said the wounds on my head were like the claw marks in the Jurassic Park movie logo. B, no words can express what I feel towards the situation and how grateful I am that you were there. Basta alam mo na yun.

Anyway, after a few hours, I got a CT scan to detect hemorrhages and X-Rays. Good thing it all came out negative. But I had so many wounds and lacerations on my head. They had to STITCH THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY TEMPLE AND ANOTHER ONE AT THE BACK OF MY HEAD. But there are still minor wounds all over my head, even the inside of my ear has blood till now. Till now my hair is all stiff and sticky from the blood. They shampooed my hair in the hospital but a lot of it still haven’t come out. (I woke up today with dried blood on my pillow).

The first time I saw a mirror, I could not believe my eyes. I thought it was just dirt and dried blood but then I realized I had a giant bruise on my right cheek and deep scratches on my face. I got a Wet One but it just won’t come off. I had to face it, my face was really fucked up. My neck had strangle marks, my jaw was swollen, I had two semi-black eyes, my cheeks were patches of black and blue and the abrasions and cuts were deep on my face. I look like the Bride of Chuckie.

After they sutured me, I became delirious for sometime. Not knowing what I was saying to LJ but he said I was acting strange and started rambling about random things that I don’t remember.

The police came and they got the license plate of the cab DAW from the witnesses but they weren’t sure if it’s accurate. We’re still planning an investigation. I lost my school ID, cellphone, cash and camera. The only things that I salvaged from the incident were my shoes, a brush and a dress. They were covered in blood as well. Now, the question is, are the first and second cab incidents related? Is it a Modus Operandi?

Anyway, I’m out of the hospital now. My body is aching all over and my face looks like Pacquiao practiced on it.

The reason why I am writing this note is TO WARN EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU PEOPLE TO BE CAREFUL. I never ever thought such a thing could happen to me. I thought it only happens in the movies. Imagine, I was just a street away from my home and THIS HAPPENED. A STREET AWAY. Thank God I wasn’t drunk, Thank God the guy did not have weapons (I think), Thank God some kind souls helped me. Thank God I had the presence of mind not to remove his hands from my neck but to scratch his eyes out and reach for the lock. Some girls initial defense would be to un-strangle themselves but I didn’t. I let him strangle me. My main objective was to get the damn door open and escape.

The doctor told my boyfriend I was lucky to be alive, before leaving the hospital. As I was struggling inside the taxi, I did not see the whole “your life flashes before you when you’re dying” thingy.

NO. That’s why I fought against him as much as I could. I told myself over and over again, “NOT TODAY… NOT TODAY… This isn’t how I should die. I’m too good for this.”

I SAW the reason why I should keep on living. That’s why I’m still here today.

PXG 725 or PSG 725
White Taxi

PICTURES AFTER: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=139338&id=751877234

----------------------------------------------------------

THERE ARE STILL KIND CAB DRIVERS SO HOPE WE WON'T GENERALIZE THEM BUT... TRUE LET'S ALL BE CAREFUL, THOUGH I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE WHAT IS CAREFUL SINCE I FEEL TOTALLY SAFE IN CABS, NOW... LRT NA LANG SIGURO? HAI, IF ONLY WE CAN ALL HAVE OUR OWN CARS, BUT OF COURSE WE CAN'T SO I GUESS LET'S JUST HAVE STRONG FAITH IN GOD AND LIKE WHAT I'M DOING... ALWAYS PRAY ONCE YOU ARE IN A PUBLIC VEHICLE =)

SADDENED

2009-12-28T06:24:00.001-08:00

I wasn’t able to watch Tara Santelices’ story last last Saturday at MMK (Maalaala Mo Kaya) so I patiently watched it at Youtube. I remembered my friend telling me that someone from Ateneo got shot somewhere near their place (she lives in Cainta). The news brought some organizations and bands to raise funds in order to help the Santelices’ large amount of hospital bills reaching into million pesos. But of course I didn’t knew much until I watched her story in MMK, Karylle played Tara’s character. She was in coma for a year, she passed away last July, 2009. Tara was shot in the forehead by a hold-upper who’s with her in a jeepney along Imelda Ave. The suspect wasn’t caught until now. Justice didn’t prevail.

Of course this blog wasn’t timely at all, but I just can’t help but feel sad after watching her story. And to be honest, I felt scared commuting at night, esp.riding in jeepneys. It just annoys me how some evil men can do such, I mean get our things, no need to kill us! I am alarmed, saddened, scared, victims like Tara is no different from me, a young woman with so many dreams. I dream of a place where it’s safe to walk alone at night, a place where there’s no need to be paranoid, but these are too much to ask.

Kids, tell your parents where you are at the wee hours of the night (I should tell that to myself as well). Seeing Albert Martinez and Cherry Pie Picache’s (Tara’s parents in the story) despair over their daughter made me realize that indeed, it’s not easy for a parent to wait for his child to go home. It is a dangerous world out there, and we only have ourselves (and God of course) as protection, so be careful!

Another thing that saddened me is what I’ve watched in National Geographic Channel’s ‘On the Edge’. It featured rhinos, tortoise and lemurs that are on the cliff of extinction. Even if we get to save these animals, do we still have a place for them in the wild? That’s one of the questions asked in the show, and again it saddened me to see forests turned into infrastructures. I saw what Madagascar looks like at present, and whew, the movie is all but a dream land! I love animals a lot, I wanna have a pig for a pet, I adore penguins and I find owls too funny. I fear that one day even dogs and cats are gonna be rare to find. We are searching for ways to discover dinosaurs, to revive the long extinct creatures, but what we don’t realize is that we have so much great creatures today, let’s not wait for them to die in extinction.

POV 6

2009-12-21T00:36:00.000-08:00

Last week we attended UP'S PILING OBRA VIDYO 6 (POV6) at UP Diliman's Cine Adarna. We came there to support our entry Huwanted! Though we didn't win, I am still proud that Huwanted made it to the final screening. Congrats to the winners by the way. Harana is sooooo cool! Though kinda intimidating, i am still proud of them! Onse is good too, though we wondered why the entries' sponsor turned out to be the sponsor of the POV event as well. I am proud of these two entries primarily because it showed hope on our film industry!
But the main reason why I decided to write about the said event is because of our disappointment with the hosts of the program. The hosts were joking around on stage, making spiels and jest that only them can understand. We can't relate to what they're laughing about. They were cracking jokes and all that. I mean it's okay to give life to a program by saying something funny, but how can the audience laugh if we can't relate to them. Many students from different schools came, and so it surprises us on the way they acted there. I personally look up to UP students, I salute their intelligence and so it came to me as a disappointment to see some students there act as if it's them only in the venue. They could have at least respected our presence.

Still, i would like to thank POV for giving the students a chance to showcase their projects, we just hope next year's event would be more formal. Again congrats to all the entries, they're all great!

MY GENTLEMAN IS BACK!

2009-12-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

WOOOOHOOOO NEYO IS BACK!

R&B star Ne-Yo will perform live on January 9, 2010 at the Mall of Asia Concert Grounds.

The opening act for the Ne-Yo concert will be the newest and hottest all-female group “Eurasia” from Viva Records.

Early Bird Ticket Prices:

Seal Location	Price
VVIP	PhP 7725.00	Reserved Seating
VIP	PhP 5665.00	Reserved Seating
PLATINUM	PhP 4120.00	Reserved Seating
GOLD	PhP 2575.00	Free Seating
SILVER	PhP 1545.00	Standing
BRONZE	PhP 515.00	Standing

The Ne-Yo Concert 2010 is produced by Brown Cross Investments Inc.

For tickets inquiry and sales, call 891.9999 or you can Buy Your Tickets on this link.

DIE-MOCRACY

2009-11-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

“Never in the history of journalism have the news media suffered such a heavy loss of life in one day.”

- an international media group said in a statement concerning the Maguindanao massacre that happened on Monday.

(45 bodies of people that include politicians and journalists were abducted in a pre-election related incident.)

SO THIS IS WHAT OUR JOURNALISTS GET FOR DOING THEIR JOB? SCARY.

TUMBLNG THE SITES

2009-11-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

okay im currently hooked up with my new Tumblr page =D

i have always been curious on how this thing works after seeing it on some of the blogs i've reviewed in candymag. I did find it cute right away actually, being an easy access for you to post SOME pictures (large number of pics are not advisable here).

One more thing, I believe Tumblr does fit me since i love to "play" around photoshop and do some creative scribblings as a hobby. See Tumblr is like a place for graphic junkies slash emo slash photo journalists slash coolness (haha). Don't get me wrong though, i believe all of the sites that i am currently signed in to are cool (and that will include you my blogspot Ü),
but these sites have their forte that make them stand out from the rest...

MUSIKEROS!
the social media that lets you upload music and at the same time embed them to your other sites. This is for the music lovers in the house (like me of course), i can put my favorite songs in a playlist and share them. This is web's first embeddable music and video playlists.

THE DOWNSIDE: i don't visit my imeem page anymore, the songs are only played for 30secs.argh!

FOREIGNERS!
haha, well this used to be the conyo version of friendster 6 years ago. Don't be surprised when foreigners start to add you. You can do so much with myspace, esp.if you like to design your profile layout, they kinda have all the perks to do it. This has also been a site for aspiring musicians bec.they can upload their music or videos and get some fans. Colbie Callait for example, she gained popularity by uploading her music in myspace, and whoala, the rest is history.

THE DOWNSIDE: i will later cancel my account in myspace bec.i don't use it anymore, people from whatever countries just keep on sending me lame messages and inviting me to events i can't obviously attend to bec.I am far away from their places, hello! Myspace lost its popularity in the Philippines even before it became a hit.

VIDEOGRAPHERS!
need not explain, this site is for the video junkies. Those who like to record themselves or watch other people's creative or stupid juices on the boob tube. If Imeem and Myspace is a place for musician to gain popularity by uploading their music, Youtube can give you the fame by simply uploading your video. Singers like Charice Pempengco, so as Gabe Bondoc, Passion and Jason Dy became popular through Youtube. Aside from these singers, Happy Slip and other cool discoveries in Youtube became hits too! Video blogging (or vlog) became popular and video projects became exciting.

THE DOWNSIDE: if you're not popular in youtube, don't expect people to add you as their friend, just be contented browsing those videos, it's still fun anyway!

WRITERS!
Also known as Blogspot. This blog publising system is obviously a place for bloggers, for online journalists. Those who like to blah about stuff, or vent out their emotions through writing, this is exactly your place for comfort. It's quite easy to use, you can also put photos, videos, etc., but like what i have said, they all have their forte, and from the name itself, this is best for bloggers, for writers... like you!

THE DOWNSIDE: most of the time, fellow bloggers are the only one who knows your blogspot, and only those who are interested in blogging would most probably sign in to blogger, so this is not a place for social web encounters in case you're expecting numerous followers / subscribers.

PHOTOSHOPPERS!
or those who like to edit stuffs in photoshop, this site like what i have mentioned is a good place for design junkies. Cool statements, funny caricatures and awesome shots are posted here. Each posts can be reblog by any tumblr user. Reblog is simply posting someone's post into your tumblr. This is like your media shortcut, you can post text, images, video, links, quotes, and audio on your Tumblelog, a short-form blog. But of course cute designs are still the favorite. You are updated by other people's posts by following them, the more followers you have, the higher your Tumblarity gets! See cute statements in tumblr, and make some of yours too!

THE DOWNSIDE: Tumblrs don't really care much about long journal entries, and that's exactly the purpose of this post, get a blogger instead! Also, some tumblrs post nonsense messages on good designs, is it for tumblarity's sake? i don't know! I hope tumblr would gain popularity though!

ARTISTS!
whew, this is the bastion for real artists! A place to promote your artworks. Not only can they exhibit them but discuss them as well with fellow geniuses. Digital art, Traditional art, Photography, etc.are categorized here for convenient searching. Ow yeah, you can search cool images here (but consider the credit of course). Not only that, you can search for brushes here, how cool is that! I actually envy those good artists in deviant art, kudos!

THE DOWNSIDE: i really don't know, i don't have a deviant art account, i haven't heard any bad feedback yet as well.

PHOTOGRAPHERS!
this is a good place for photographer's online portfolio. Multiply is a good site for uploading tons of pictures and organize it in an album. It's also a good place for those who like to pimp their page, those addicted to css codes, i for example had done 6 layouts for my multiply page already. Your music, blogs, events, photos, etc.are well organized with multiply, making it look like your own domain site. That is why many photographers and sellers use this to promote their business.

THE DOWNSIDE: well anonymous viewing is not possible here so stalkers are not welcome, unless its for public viewing. Some also find it complicated to use Multiply, but for me I am still a fan!

BROADCASTERS!
well this is basically for those who like to broadcast their whereabouts or be updated by other people's lives. This is a micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read messages known as tweets. Many celebrities use this and I believe they are the ones who are fitted for twitter bec.most probably their lives are sensible enough to follow, esp.if you're a fan. Twitter has been helpful and evident on the recent Ondoy typhoon, indeed this is for broadcasters in the making, making twitter a venue to disseminate information, hopefully relevant ones.

THE DOWNSIDE: Well I don't have twitter and i don't think i will need it at all. But suddenly twitter became a source of many celebrity word wars. Too much update on one's private life is a lil bit dangerous don't you think?

MULTITASKERS!
this is because facebook is all about multitasking. I guess some can relate to me that we tend to play our favorite facebook game while checking our friend's recent wall posts, tagging our friend's photos, commenting on someone's hilarious status, answering an irrelevant quiz and finally checking what God wants us to know. There is so much to do with facebook! Pet Society, Texas Holdem Poker, Farmville, etc.are also some of the famous attraction on facebook users (excluding me). Facebook is similar to Myspace although Myspace use HTML / CSS codes while facebook uses plain text. I find facebook easy and simple, esp.on the comment part, typing or liking a post and blabbing it out to all of your facebook friends is easy as 1, 2, 3. So far, Facebook is the most popular among my peers.

THE DOWNSIDE: better update your email notification option if you don't want your inbox to get flooded with updates. The photo tagging can be a lil bit annoying sometimes (c'mon don't intentionally tag your friend's silly moments on cam, insensitive mor*ns!). Lastly, in facebook... everyone's updated, your whole conversation is posted, funny, haha!

LOYALISTA!
consistent, "I will not leave my friendster, damn you all social-network sites!", let's admit it, we are all friendster babies. Before having our facebook, multiply, etc., we did got hooked up with friendster right? Many relationships failed bec.of infidelity discoveries in friendster, many fights revealed on the friendster bulletin, many girls screamed bec.of the sweet testimonial their crush gave them, many boys smiled with the hot chics they added, many assumed and concluded stories on why this person viewed them, many... and I mean many, had their little share of stories with friendster. It was 2003 when I started friendster, and now, using friendster is like social suicide. I don't think I will cancel my friendster account, though I'm not updating it anymore, i just think it's one of my links to the past, esp.those testimonials that somehow reminded you on how you were few years back.

THE DOWNSIDE: Oh well, too many gangsta slash emo slash social climbers slash old men have polluted the site! And sad to say, almost everyone I know uses facebook already.

So many sites to browse right? I wonder what's next year's hit will be... and I wonder who will be forgotten eventually.

Time to sign up... time to cancel some. CHOOSE WHERE YOU BELONG. Post the real you. THIS IS NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST.

PS: i just noticed, most of their logos are on the shade of Blue, coincidence?

PRAYER MOUNTAIN

2009-10-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

late post.
cool place...
prayer mountain in paenaan... good for sould searching! ;)

FLOODED WITH SCARS

2009-10-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

Two Sundays ago when I got this second degree burn on my right leg by an exhaust pipe (tambutso) of a motorcycle, I didn’t panic at first, not until me and my friend went to the hospital to have it checked and cleaned. The doctor told me numerous precautions, prescriptions and directions that I should abide for the fast recovery of this burned skin. I automatically thought of the hassle it will give me, and most especially, the hassle it will give my mom once she knew about this.

Being a concerned mom of course, upon hearing this, she automatically asked me the medicines to buy and even told me to go to the clinic near us for a second opinion. But I still felt a little embarrassed since the medication is not part of the budget of course.

Anyway, I got to go to school despite what happened, beside the bandage on my right leg and me walking a little less usual, everything else is pretty much normal. I managed to finish our tvc editing, submit the company brochure, update my clients at work and check the business, ow yeah, productive still.

Then came this weekend, the Ondoy weekend… the craziest Saturday of the year. I woke up at our living room surprised to see the flood almost reaching our sofa seats, I have to step on chairs in order for me to go to our bed since it’s higher and we’re pretty positive that flood won’t reach it anymore.

But WE WERE WRONG. Now I really have to go somewhere higher, I cannot afford to soak my right leg on the flood because of my burned skin, a little step on the flood would surely give me tons of infections, just look how big my open skin is! I got really scared, I was shaking! Good thing my brother came and they decided to bring me upstairs where my cousin lives. Yuri (my brother) gave me a piggy ride from bed to the other house upstairs, with the flood almost at waist level. TRUST, I JUST HAVE TO SURRENDER MY TRUST! Before even riding on my brother’s back, trusting him that he won’t let me fall on the flood has been hard for me. This may be funny but true… trusting myself that I am already thin enough for him to sustain my weight was hard too. And as my brother walked on the flood with me on his back, I just closed my eyes, with my legs bended enough not to reach the flood, and prayed that I won’t fall, that I won’t fall… that I won’t fall.

Thank God I didn’t fall, hai! I stayed at my cousin’s house, alone at their living room texting people on how they are. I was just lying on their sofa until dark wondering what’s happening at home. I can hear the hard pour of rain as I pray. I just felt helpless that time! I should be downstairs helping them with our things, that’s what I thought. But I was there, upstairs, anxiously praying for the rain to stop.

And now at this moment of time when true service is everywhere, the more I felt crippled. The more I felt that there’s less I can do.

I felt more pain this week on my right leg, this time walking has been a struggle for me, my skin’s contracting already that’s why the pain while stretching it as I walk, or even stand, hasn’t been that tolerable anymore.

Yes, since Saturday all I did was lie down, or sit, I can’t go out with the fear of falling in the middle of the road once I cannot stand the pain already. It was my first time to go to work today since the accident happened. My boss fetched me here at home, and at the office, I made all possible work loads I can do without standing. My client brought me lunch instead of me going to greenhills where we usually eat, then after driving me home, I automatically called our employee at Marikina for further updates on the casualties.

But the thing is, I WANTED TO BE THERE, I WANTED TO HELP. Knowing myself, I should have gone to wherever foundation there is to volunteer, I should be downstairs at those times when my family was struggling from flood. I should be visiting my numerous friends from the east to extend a hand. But where am I the whole time? In front of the television waiting for updates, watching the non-stop advertisements to volunteer and help, hearing the testimonials of people who have actually done their share of service. I go online and I see people of my age and younger sharing their joys for having been able to help. And the more I felt useless. The camaraderie I saw was heart warming, some call it people power at a different perspective, and I just wanted to be a part of it.

The accident brought me not just physical pain but emotional torture as well. Just imagine the feeling of having an ordinary wound and making it 10 times worse. I would have to feel the pain every time I clean it (and I clean it every time!). Me, being an outgoing person, is now limited with few movements, and yes with few places to go. People around me are moving back and forth, making a difference after Ondoy’s tragedy, while I am stuck at home trying to make myself stand up and walk again.

I wonder what will happen to me on our thesis defense, on the Adfest, on the awarding; I just can’t believe I won’t be able to fully savor the moment. No drinking sessions (since I am under medication), no dancing, can’t swim, all these things, I have to accept until sembreak! If only I can rewind that time before riding that motorcycle, or that time when we stopped before the stoplight, just bring me back before that time I burned my skin.

SCARS, THEY WILL ALWAYS REMIND YOU ON HOW STUPID YOU’VE BECOME. This one is a big reminder alright… literally! It will leave a mark on my right leg already, a bitter remembrance if I may call it. Yes, hard to say, and I surely regret what happened, yet there’s nothing I can do anymore.

Houses ruined, lives lost, people shattered, same with me and the people who got affected with typhoon Ondoy, the country is left with a scar, a very big and tragic scar. Let this scar be a reminder for everyone, wisdom are scars in disguise after all. So many lessons reflected with a single hit of rain, this rain estimated to be a 31 DAYS OF RAIN CRAMMED IN 6 HOURS, it surely burned the country’s skin of so many realizations, well for most of us I hope.

LET’S PLANT TREES - man against nature is a dangerous battle!
LIVE A SIMPLER LIFE – one flood can take everything away in a snap.
LOVE ONE ANOTHER AT ALL TIMES – we don’t need another Ondoy to
do that don’t we?
PRAY, PRAY, PRAY – the best defense we can ever have!

And last but not the least…

BE THANKFUL – for all it’s worth, you still have each other, you still have numerous countrymen willing to help you, you are still alive, Ondoy can’t let Filipinos down… right?

And so I thank you Lord, that despite my disability, you didn’t let me fall, thank you for with this big scar you have given me, I saw how important my every step is… I am excited to walk painlessly again; my legs would be a lot different after this though…

IT MAY LOOK UNPRETTY OUTSIDE, BUT SCAR TISSUES ARE DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN REGULAR TISSUES, A WISER ONE TOO HOPEFULLY! ;D

Typhoon Pepeng’s coming… let’s all pray for everyone’s safety. Nobody knows His plans for us, but I am 100% sure that He never wanted to cause us such pain. Yet if we feel like crying, do so, at this moment of time we can’t blame ourselves for being hurt, feel the pain, be patient, and then leave everything up to God.

EXHAUSTING

2009-09-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

i just felt a little sad today, i was browsing some pictures and saw one which includes an old friend in it. I don't know, there's part of me that misses him once in a while, and one of those days is today.

I just finished doing my thesis (which actually brought a smile on my face), and i haven't started any layout for my advertising yet. School has been pretty much a pressure for me, certain issues and work loads really drag my energy down to the next level. Exhaustion, can't help it.

Just a while ago while thinking of a good concept for our company brochure and print ad, a person crossed my mind, i suddenly said to myself: "it could have been less harder if we are still friends", and what i meant by friend is the friend I can consult on with my ideas, the friend i can confide my frustrations with, the friend who hates to see a girl crying but would patiently let me cry while i am ranting on random stuffs.

I was exhausted with so many things to do, but the biggest factor for my exhaustion is the feeling of being near the person who crushes your being, and you can't do anything but stay near, because that is how professionalism should be.

I started discovering the joy and pain of productions with him, and I am painstakingly continuing it without him. I imagined advertising subject last summer as something I would surely look forward to, and he knew it very well, having been a listener to my numerous plans and ideas.

And now, sitting in front of him and talking about our plans in advertising has been a poker game for me. Give him the poker face, that's your only salvation.

Whatever happened to 'few months ago', i surely hope that it was worth the experience. This is our last production, but this is not the most memorable... definitely.

DRUNKEN LIFE

2009-08-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

So let me share to you my recent realizations on random things, and since I am here at home, nursing myself from a hangover, why don’t I relate this blog to drinking.

5% ALCOHOL IS STILL ALCOHOL. No matter how little a damage is, still a damage is a damage (and yes I’ve repeated damage thrice in one sentence, ooops, ive said it again, 4x then… haha), but it’s up to you to control it. You know for a fact that when you drink a beer, there’s an alcohol content, 5% alcohol of 1 bottle may be few, but you have consumed 4 bottles, now what gives you? Each of us contain our own alcohol content, our own flaws, don’t deal with people with high alcohol content though, too much of it will only give you the perennial headache. Choose who to trust, remember that alcohol in beers are the ones who gives us the high, it may either make us so happy, or worse, make us damn wasted. Control the alcohol intake; don’t wait until you have to puke it.

WATER IS THE DRUNK’S BEST FRIEND. Since beer dehydrates us, did you know that no matter how much you drink, if you take 3 glasses of water between beers, you won’t get drunk at all? And even if I feel relieve after drinking coffee when I’m drunk, it doesn’t really help. Coffee dehydrates us as well… you would just end up being a wide awake drunk. Just like in life, we all need our water when we’re wasted. We need our friends. I am so happy because I’ve seen who my trusted friends are at those times when I felt so down. And surprisingly I discovered a friend I never thought would be there to check on me. I am very grateful because despite whatever pain I’ve felt, the essence of friendship still remained. I found a new friend, and I’ve surpassed a test of friendship. It is indeed a lifetime friendship, my lifetime water, clear, clean and over flowing =)

WATCH YOUR PACE, NEVER DRINK TOO FAST. Drink as slow as possible, that’s why I prefer to drink with my own bottle than tagay. I always consider drinking sessions as a time to converse, to bond, and to share the most hilarious story to the most senseless experience. It’s not about bragging your capacity to drink, and of course no pressure, don’t rush yourself to finish your beer. Same with my career, fortunately I don’t get pressured by the people around me, my advertising group and thesis mates are cool. My boss is sweet as usual, and clients are over whelming (especially… hahaha!). But I am pressured by time, so little time, so many things to do. Why do I always get stuck up with time?! Ironically I am enjoying all that I am doing, but physically I am drained already. I guess like in beer, I’ll take it slowly, no need to rush things, inhale, exhale, one drink at a time.

EAT BEFORE YOU DRINK. Eat before you drink or eat while drinking. The food will not only help absorb alcohol slowly, but also slow your drinking pitch down. I make sure that I ate before drinking since I’m not the type who eats while drinking; I just don’t like the taste of food and beer altogether. Whew, this is a huge realization last night. I got drunken big time! I am not usually like that, I have my composure and I hate vomiting. I felt helpless last night, no energy to hang on, haha. And yeah I blame it on my diet. I’ve been feeling weak lately, but I’m not on a crash diet just so you know. I eat but my rice intake is ultimately small, like 1/3 of a cup of rice. It has been like that since summer started, and I saw the effect, they really noticed my loss of weight, so I thought, why stop it. But then the level of my activities is not at par with the amount of nutrients I put on my body, and that’s what weakened me. I am jeopardizing my health on vanity, yeah like it’s a new thing on girls right. I will learn then, I’ll eat a little more starting today, I don’t want to get drunk like last night again, hahaha!

NOTHING CAN SOBER YOU UP OTHER THAN TIME. Have a long sleep, you can’t instantly cure hangovers. The only way to sober you up is the alcohol leaving your bloodstream - which your body does naturally through the filters in your body (like your liver). But this requires one thing.... time. Yes indeed time heals everything, no need to rush things, especially when it involves emotions. I’ve realized that for all it’s worth, what matters most are the lessons learned during those ‘dizzy’ times. Sleep for a while, or in life, take a rest, give a prayer, and smile. Everything has its purpose, again don’t rush the answers, I guess reasons for circumstances are only revealed when you are ready to accept it. Coz if you’re not, then you won’t realize its worth. Being sober is a choice, detoxifying is not an easy thing to do, but just let time do its magic, coz genuine intentions will absolutely prevail after all.

So I got drunk on my own alcohol content for some time, I drank it fast, forgot my capacity limit, and puked after. Yet somehow I am okay now because I’ve taken my gallons of water already. Don’t be afraid to get drunk in life sometimes, fall down to your mistakes, vomit unnecessary emotions, walk deliriously on decisions, and get dizzy with the pain. We need alcohol sometime to show the real us, to reflect happiness, or even sadness, but once you get drunk, help yourself be sober.

Hangovers are never easy, but at least you know what to do, when your next bottle gets to you! And for the record, I did miss the water Ü

AT TARLAC

2009-07-26T03:54:00.000-07:00

TIGIL MO NA YAN

MORNING SHIFT

PAG MAY APOY MAS USOK

UMAGANG KAY SAMA

STATION MASTER

SHADY

DI PALA KASAMA SA OUTING

GOING NOWHERE

ANG PAGDADALAGA NI MAXIMO

DI NGA

ESTRANGHERO

BATO BATO SA LANGIT

- LATE POST ACTUALLY. THIS WAS TAKEN MONTHS AGO PA. HEHE!

SECOND BEST

2009-07-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

The men in my life... they’re probably or precisely the reason why I decided to write this blog. For such a time if you notice, I wasn’t able to write entries about love. I used to be a ‘love blogger’, someone who loves to write about love.

And here I go again, whew, this is not a good sign!

Let me start with a*shole, so far I can say that I am much better, yet I still feel the pain once in a while, I am trying my very best to cut ALL my connections, but sometimes circumstances reconnect themselves! And I must admit there’s still hatred.

Then there’s ‘baboy’, he texted me last Saturday with this message:

‘Anghel ka Ü Bumalik sya.., bibigyan daw nya ko ng chance Ü yeah!!!’

Baboy is my ex boyfriend who asked for my shoulder for the first time. That was the first time I saw him depressed big time! I don’t have romantic feelings anymore, I’m sure of that, but he is special, and seeing him overly in love with this girl made me ask myself… was he like that before when we broke up? I am just scared that I would lose him totally, we were like best friends already =(

Then there’s this guy I am seeing at the moment, he makes me smile, he calls me to make sure I’m okay, visits me once in a while after his work… but I am still lonely. Did you ever had this feeling when you felt that both of you are just using each other as rebounds? That’s what I’m feeling right now! It’s like we’re forcing ourselves to compensate each other’s failed expectations, it’s like I am happy with him, but I am happier with someone else.

THESE THREE GUYS… THESE THREE STORIES, WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON? SIMPLE… I AM ALWAYS THEIR SECOND OPTION.

It may sound unfair for the third guy to conclude this, but that’s really what I feel, I mean he just came from a break up!

After Brian, all I ever did was wait; wait for the final verdict. I am the one to adjust… I am the one to understand… I AM THE MEAN TIME GIRL. For the mean time I’ll call Fao, for the mean time I’ll ask Fao for dinner, for the mean time I’ll show my affection to Fao. Well those are literally the MEAN times, mean as in bad, mean as in painful, mean as in heart breaking.

But I’ll give this man a chance, I won’t judge him yet, maybe I’ll never see his good intentions if I’ll focus on his past. But as I write this and wait for his call I still feel lonely, because I am scared, I am cautious… I’m tired of rationalizing explanations. I’m sick of being the one to give way. I’m done with ‘I AM HAPPY FOR YOU’ moments.

Yet beyond all tears, I rediscovered a Man who NEVER took me for granted, who never made me His second option… I was never His mean time girl. I always pray for that blissful feeling again, I always tell Him to take care of these three guys. And now I am ashamed because I never realized that despite the pain these men caused me, there is still one left, and He is Lord God.

For sure He felt the same way as I do, the second best, the one we consider for the mean time. He has witnessed all my heartaches, He heard all the pain, and He felt all the sadness. He is my consistent and persistent suitor, never gets tired to check on me, never gave up on me, never lost His love for me. I always tell Him how thankful I am for meeting those three guys mentioned, for a while they made me happy, and each time they will make me cry, that's the only time I become thankful for having Him with me =( I AM SORRY, and so above anything else, I will make You the first option in my life, as I am to You!

SOON enough I will be someone’s first, not necessarily first on his priorities, but first on his heart. I’ll be brave again, I won’t hesitate… I will let myself fall, so hard, so fast. I won’t question his intentions; I won’t doubt my feelings…

And for the mean time, I will feel very special… I will LET myself be SPECIAL Ü

H1N1 PARANOIA

2009-06-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

Am I an h1n1 carrier? I am on self quarantine as I write… I’m yet to know if I’m positive. Last night my temperature was 39.5! Whew! Man I’m HOT!

I started feeling sick last Thursday, attended a house party that night then went home the morning after. I stayed at home the whole day Friday, felt heavy, well not literally. I thought it is just a hangover, though I didn’t drank too much.

Then Saturday when I woke up, wow I felt cold, dizzy, my temperature' s high, ow yeah… I AM SICK!

I wore mask the whole day, my temperature went higher. Cough and flu were more evident today, but the temperature’s a bit lower now. My mom said last Saturday that they will still observe me before going to the hospital, and I hope I am doing better. I don’t want to eat the same meal again!

noodles and juice forever

Oh well, I am a responsible HOT lady anyway, I make sure not to cough or sneeze on anyone here at home, just in case I am carrying the annoying virus. I hate being sick, I can’t go out, I wasn’t even able to answer Jarred’s call =(, or entertain Shayne and Chat’s visit here, I can’t taste the food I’m eating, and the worst part… I miss having a good good shower! I stink!

Well, good thing I can use the net now, I really hope this is nothing; the h1n1 fever is making us all paranoid, darn.

SHARKBAIT MEDIA SOLUTIONS' DOTS ENTERTAINMENT

2009-06-06T13:08:00.000-07:00

I attended SHARKBAIT MEDIA SOLUTIONS’ “DOTS ENTERTAINMENT” (a talk on digital art) last May at Cyberzone One Ecom Center. And I just wanna share how relieving that talk was for me, I mean wow, we Filipinos are good!

I am supposed to come with our photographer chicboy Mackoy, but sudden events happened at work so I came to the event by myself (no documentations whatsoever, hai Mackoy hehe). Nevertheless being alone made me focus on the talk further, and yes I am sitting in front, NERD haha.

There are 3 speakers on the said event, they’re all cool and I can smell the creativity on each of them:

Joel Chua of PIXEL PINTURA: He demonstrated a few of Pixel Pintura’s Digital Coloring & Painting tips and tricks. He jokes once in a while and he’s pretty good with brushes.

He colored this one live on his laptop with the photoshop brushes.

He also did another illustration with the use of photoshop pencil and brushes, while giving some tips on how to make your life easier on adobe photoshop.

I like Joel Chua’s willingness to share his knowledge to young and aspiring artists. He actually gives FREE 30-minute assessment and demo session, just schedule it with him.

From pixelpintura.com: "Hello. I have been teaching and developing the Pixel Pintura Workshops since 2002. I have been doing digital coloring & painting since 1999, particularly for work in comics, children's books, animation, games, and advertising. During these workshops my hope is that you benefit directly from that experience whatever you intend to do with the skills you will learn.” – Joel Chua

Do try it… it’ll be cool =D

Rommel Celespara of WACOM PHIL.: He showed us the products of Wacom that is very useful for graphic artists. He talked about the products with humor (he’s quite funny actually) and credibility that we actually forgot… um… how expensive those are, hehe!

One of the products that I got interested on is the Bamboo Fun Tablet.

The way I see it, it’s like shifting from a keypad phone to a touch screen! =) You won’t have to use a mouse anymore; the stylus pen is your best friend. Especially for those who edit for hours, man your right hand is sure to hurt right? This is good for photo editing, digital paint, draw & sketch, and handwriting.

Rommel also showed us some of his works, with the use of Wacom Bamboo Fun of course, and wow he’s good! I like how he showcased his personality through his works, and how he defended digital art without the expense of discouraging us on traditional art.

Benedict Carandang and Che Bello of TULDOK ANIMATION Studios Inc: This is my fave! They talked about how their non-stock non profit organization started and showed us their masterpiece ‘Libingan’, plus a teaser on their new project ‘Pasintabi’.

I was really inspired by this group. You know what, they told us that they don’t have an office, they just meet on fast food restaurants for brain storming, conceptualization, etc. Tuldok Animation consists of young and eager artists who are willing to expand and promote Filipinos’ skills and creativity.

I am happy that they’re supported by NCCA (National Commission for Culture & the Arts), the government supports young and aspiring artists like them, very eager to uplift the countries’ potentials on animation.

Tuldok Animation is also encouraging us to join (yes if you can be a voice talent, or an animator or musician, why not audition!) and support them as well.

All in all I realized that we do have a say on digital art (digital animation, digital painting, graphic designs, etc.), and though there have been debates between digital art and traditional art, I guess what’s important is how you were able to pursue your dreams.

Lastly, i realized on this talk that there are so MANY skilled artists out there that are STILL willing to share their knowledge and talent to dreamers like me, and like you...

besides, passion without inspiration is nothing, thus thank you for inspiring me =D

AGAIN, FOR MORE DETAILS ON THE EFFIN’ COOL CREATIVE MINDS I’VE MENTIONED CHECK THEIR WEBSITES:

SHARKBAIT MEDIA SOLUTIONS

PIXEL PINTURA / JOEL CHUA
WACOM / WACOM MULTIPLY
TULDOK ANIMATION / PASINTABI MULTIPLY

ONE HELL OF A WEEK

2009-05-31T03:09:00.000-07:00

I am gonna write this blog to end this stressful sh*t once and for all.

I am gonna write this blog to satisfy my need to release everything through writing.

THEN MOVE ON.

For the past week I have seen a part of reality that I never knew existed. It was something that brought me pain and big disappointment.

If there is one thing that I have been thankful for this year, that is having a friend whom I can talk about my dreams with without being judged or discouraged. He is a friend who has influenced me to be better, a person who has given me a wiser perspective in life. I have been very thankful for everything that he, and the people affiliated to him, has thought me. They’ve been a brother and a buddy all rolled into one.

Then in a snap, I lost that trust. It became very painful, really, because as much as I wanna bring back that trust, I can’t, it’s hard.

Then we lost the respect. We ended up with hurtful words, words I don’t even wanna remember because I find it hard to accept that he was able to say such words to me without basis. BUT I UNDERSTAND.

For one week I was able to realize so many things.

Words are not enough to know a person; a man of words is not a man of perfection. But despite doing me wrong, I still won’t judge the advices he has given me, and up until now I will still live up to his teachings. Practice what you preach.

It’s never easy to accept that someone who you look up to would end up hurting you, judging you.

You come out strong, mature and wise, and then be questioned afterwards for being weak and for being hurt. That I can handle situations because I am intellectually capable to grip it… did he ever realized that emotions are harder to deal with.

And the biggest thing I realized through this experience is that it’s so HARD to do what is right. For the whole week I prayed for peace of mind, it hasn’t become easy, but I have to do what is necessary. It’s so difficult to tell him that everything is for good intentions, but come to think of it, I don’t need to push it, if he can’t understand it then fine. That is the worst debate we’ve ever had. But I left that place with a clean conscience because I know I am with HIM through every decision I made.

Still I wanna say SORRY for everyone who got hurt, who got affected in the process. I apologize to him for the pain I’ve caused. I know he will never understand my good intentions, so I will leave everything up to God. I never got mad; I was devastated really, but not mad. I still believe that genuine tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between two rights.

I am sorry if I have said some things that may have hurt him, I remembered him telling me: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BE THE BAD GUY, IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD FRIEND.

If I have to end up being the bad guy here, it’s totally fine. Sacrifices, not very easy, but I’ve accepted it now. I lost a friendship because I wanna protect someone and because I wanna do the right thing. As much as it hurt me, I didn’t regret it, maybe some people just come into our lives to teach us lessons, and indeed… I learned a lot. THANK YOU.

I am proud of myself that despite the pain I still chose to do what is right, that despite the imperfections I am still able to stand up for what I believe in.

I WILL ALWAYS BE A FRIEND, TO EVERYBODY, ESPECIALLY TO MYSELF. I won’t turn my back if he needs me, but right now all I can do is pray for his betterment, I still do continue to pray for him, again I leave everything up to God.

That is probably one of the craziest week I’ve ever had, one of the most distressing summer, but then again I am still relieved. I may have lost a friendship and I may have ruined my reputation, yet I gained wisdom, I gained faith… and this time he may call it bragging.

“There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who cares for you dearly.”

THANK YOU.
HE STILL THOUGHT ME SOMETHING,
UNINTENTIONAL THIS TIME.

THE RED ONE 4K CAMERA

2009-05-14T02:34:00.000-07:00

I was privileged to be invited to the Director’s Guild of the Philippine’s (dgpi) Technical Workshop on Film held at The Block D- Cinema last May 9.

I saw many familiar faces in the film industry like Tony G. Reyes, president of DGPI; Joel Lamangan, an award- winning film director; Audrey Zubiri, wife of Senator Miguel Zubiri; Oli Laperal Jr., managing director of RSVP Film Production; Percy Fung, 3D film maker from Hong Kong; and many others!

I learned so much about film making, cameras, post production, etc. One of the exciting parts is watching 3D made music videos and clips which were also discussed by Mr. Percy Fung.
Of course the 3D presentations won’t be possible without the 3D shades =)
I felt a little dizzy with the computations and numbers lectured by Mr. Oli Laperal Jr. (but they do make sense… a lot)!

But I ultimately went back to my senses when they talked about the 4K RED camera. Whew, it’s cool! RSVP Film Production is the first one to own the Red camera here in South East Asia. They showed us their demo reels using the 4K cam and I was impressed big time! The colors are very detailed and the images are realistic. I totally recommend this for food advertisement, even the olives looked tasty to my eyes. The test shot on time warp is cute too (cute?haha).

To give you an idea on what the hell I am talking about, see there are 5 main standards of digital video cameras, ranging from the high end digital cinema cameras, to your ordinary everyday household DVcam. The 480p or SD (standard definition), most commonly 720x480 in NTSC regions, is what you get in a decent DV camera. The 720p on the other hand, is the 'low end' HD. 720 lines vertically, commonly 1280x720. The 1080 is the topmost HDTV format. 1080 lines vertically (HDTV, unlike the cinema formats, are measured by their heights not width). The maximum is 1920x1080 at 60frames per second progressive scan (I’m not really familiar with the term progressive scan though). Now the 2k is 4k's little brother. While 4k exceeds 35mm film quality, 2k is a little below. 2048 pixels wide, it's around a quarter of the quality of 4k. And 4k is the mother of all digital film formats. 4096 pixels wide visual heaven! I told you, they discussed a lot of numbers in the workshop, and yeah, they do makes sense right?

The Knowing (Nicolas Cage), Angels and Demons (Tom Hanks) are just some of the films, among about 400 other Hollywood films, that already used the Red camera. Baler (Jericho Rosales), the indi film Pintakasi (John Wayne Sace), and many other film and advertisements here in the Philippines also used the Red cam.

RSVP film production also showed us a demo reel on animations which also got my attention. Working on the post production is like being the magician of the film, anything is possible! And i think having a fully digital workflow for the film will make editing,visualFX,color-grading and distribution a lot more painless and trouble free than having film rolls. Digital media can be a little pricy though. That Red One cam is woopin' expensive Jonah!haha!

Someday I would get to use that Red ‘hot’ camera. Someday I would get to present a demo reel (done by me only,haha) about how awesome my ad agency is (c’mon I’m dreaming here!). But my biggest dream is to have a seminar to students and inspire them to achieve greatness and coolness in the mediocre world of film and advertisement!

Wahahaha… dream on…. yeah… and wake me up later!

THE SELFISH LOST A FRIEND

2009-05-01T03:43:00.000-07:00

I lost him last night because of one of the usual causes of road accidents… riding motorcycles without helmet.

Like who would have thought that someone so healthy, ambitious, cheerful and smart would die just like that. I received a call from a friend 10pm Tuesday night (April 28) telling me to buy load for our friend so he can call Jake, and so I did looked for a place to buy load as I was also about to go to a friend’s office to drink.

That same night I heard about Jake’s motorcycle accident. I was drinking with friends and didn’t bother THAT much thinking that everything will be okay.

BUT I WAS WRONG. Jake passed away Wednesday night, 7:30pm (April 29). I didn’t cry at first, or I was trying not to cry. I drank with friends and just let the night pass me by. Before I write this I went to Arlington to visit my good good buddy. Still charming, and yeah, still smiling. That was the time I cried.

I was just with him last week, we were just singing in his car last week, he was just tutoring me on Corel last week, we were just pigging out on Japanese food last week… last week and this week, who would have thought that those 2 weeks can make a difference?

AND ON MY WAY HOME I REALIZED: HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SELFISH?

I’ve related selfishness because that same night when Jake died I had a good talk with a good friend about being called selfish or basically following your passion to the expense of hurting someone’s feelings. See I have been consistently called selfish in four months by men I’ve sincerely had feelings for. Selfish for not being able to give them time due to some goal oriented reasons. I get lonely sometimes thinking that maybe they’re right, I may have the brains but I have a frail heart. I may satisfy my passion but ends up disregarding the emotions of my partner. Yes I suppose that’s selfishness, and sometimes I can’t help but feel guilty whenever I am alone and wondering: what if I’ve given them the time they needed?

See we all live our lives each day differently. As for me, I live each day making sure that it will have a good effect on my future. But what made me think is how tricky life can be, one day they’re there, next thing you know, they’re gone. So would that mean that I should chase my dreams, fulfill my passion, reach for my goals while I’m still young and alive or show the people I care for how much important they are before they’re gone?

What if I wanna do both? I wanna be good in the industry I’m planning to embrace wholeheartedly but I am ALSO yearning to be with someone to hug and to hold, to hug and to hold only at those times that I can afford. Selfish isn’t it?

But how do I live my life, I am commending myself for the things I’m learning in the field of arts, but I am also gradually blaming myself for this empty feeling in my heart…

I am going to look for someone ‘SELFISH’ and I’ll make sure to live each day making people smile, making myself smile, and yes making him smile everyday until we die.

Jake probably knows why I am writing selfishness with death. It could have been us Jake, but I am selfish, and so I set you free.

REST IN PEACE JAKE.
IT WAS A ‘BROOM BROOM’ RIDE AFTER ALL! ;)

THE IDEAL GUY

2009-04-06T07:18:00.000-07:00

What is ideal and what is essential? I started asking myself as I check my phone waiting for messages coming from at least one of them:
A PAST, A PRESENT AND MAYBE FROM AN IMPOSSIBLE FUTURE.

I AM UNFAIR. I AM CONFUSED.

I don’t know how to explain this,
but is being idealistic a good or a bad thing?
I remembered asking God to give me a better relationship,
a relationship that would last longer,
a relationship where I can be better.
This year I’ve set my parameters.
I would date guys who are mature,
and for that I would go for older guys.
I would look for someone who knows what he wants in life,
someone who keeps track of his future,
someone who can give me a good future.
For the past years I’ve been settling with mediocre relationships.
Guys who would give me
the moon and stars,
yet would leave me with
nothing but unfinished business
and lessons learned from heartaches.

I would want to be with someone who can inspire me to be better,
who can SUPPORT my dreams, my passion.
I want that someone whom I can confide about anything and everything.
I want him, I want him badly.
Is it wrong to expect for
something better?

…
WHAT IF I MEET THAT IDEAL GUY,
but he can’t love me back.

To be honest, I can’t really explain what I’m going through right now, but one thing’s for sure…
I am starting to hurt people.
I offended my ex-boyfriend for calling him immature more than a hundred times this week (okay I’m exaggerating).
I started avoiding my suitor thinking that he can’t be good enough for me. And where am I now,
yearning for a certain someone to at least give me a little attention.
That someone, I hope, is my ideal guy.
Like your prince charming, like your dream come true…
like my answered prayers.

I want my past and/ or my present to be my ideal guy.
I want to be taken care of by someone who can UNDERSTAND my thoughts; he doesn’t have to agree with me all the time, but I know he’s there to listen.
I want to smile at the end of the day thinking that I learned something from him, and he did too to me.
Someone mature enough to spoil me yet will also tell me that I am acting like a kid when I shouldn’t be.
The guy who would make me laugh so hard with the craziest jokes, and would impress me with the most unpredictable ideas.
The guy who would bring me to dinner dates, yet is honest enough to say no to fulfill his other duties.
That same guy who would RESPECT my privacy and time as much as I would value his.
I want to be with the guy who can be busy with so many things yet can still exert an effort to go to church.
I want to be with that guy who can love me as a girlfriend, and most importantly, as a friend,
a best friend.

If only they can be that guy,
if only my ex-boyfriend or my suitor can try to be like him,
but no, they can’t.
And now I apologize for being pushy,
for expecting too much,
for asking for too much.
But nobody can tell me that the ideal guy is impossible,
that I would never meet him.

Again, what if I’ve already met him but unfortunately
I am not his ideal girl.

I started asking myself once again,
what is ideal and
what is essential?
Is it the person I’ve dreamt of loving,
or the person who can give me the love
I truly deserve?

Idealistic.
Showing a tendency to envision things in
perfect but unrealistic form.

IT IS SUBJECTIVE,
HANDLE IT WITH CARE.

SERVANT YOUR FACE!

2009-03-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

Filipinos are enraged with an article written by Chinese journalist Chip Tsao for HK Magazine entitled “The War At Home”.

And who wouldn’t be, he just considered us (Filipinos) as a NATION OF SERVANTS…

Here’s the article:

“The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That’s no big problem—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.

But hold on—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: there are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.

As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.
Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.

Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout “China, Madam/Sir” loudly whenever they hear the word “Spratly.” They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, “Long live Chairman Mao!” at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that’s going a bit too far, at least for the time being.”

OH C’MON! Totally derogatory and downright mean! I have little idea about how we got the Spratly Islands but we are valid to own it up, so who is he to reprimand his Filipina maid to tell everyone that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China?! F-YOU!

And don’t you ever insult your maid or any OFW in your country; do you know that the Filipino overseas worker has the ability to influence the entire world economy? Thanks to the medical professionals, caregivers, engineers, educators and entertainers of the country. I like what Akbayan Rep. Ana Theresia “Risa” Hontiveros-Baraquel (dear what a long name,haha) suggested:
"Filipina domestic workers should hold a one-day strike to tell the likes of Chip Tsao who's the real master of the HK economy. If all Filipino workers in HK would strike, the HK economy would grind to a halt without us having to invade the territory,”

Love it!

Man, public apology isn’t enough. This is a complete case of racism, to think that we’re both Asians… tsk2, very disappointing. Chip Tsao is a best-selling author and columnist. A former reporter for the BBC, his columns have also appeared in Apple Daily, Next Magazine and CUP Magazine, among others. Yes, he is a person who can influence others through writing and this is how he used his power.

I remembered our premise when I joined a Debate Contest in 2006: Can we still be proud on being Filipinos to other countries. I remembered my speech as the government whip and recalled how I mentioned all the possible reasons on why we should still be proud on being Filipinos, and as I write this I thought… why not prove to him that we are not their servants. Study harder, work harder, and let’s see who the boss is.

If this is a satire as what they’re claiming, well I don’t find it at any way funny and most especially, witty. And in satire, sarcasm is very much evident in the writing, sarcasm meaning agreeing on the things that you actually attack. In Tsao’s article, he attacked us Filipinos bluntly, no hesitations whatsoever… again, it is not amusing at all. Satire or not, it's still rude and too much.

I HATE THIS ARTICLE AS MUCH AS I HATE THAT GUY. We are not servants; we just know the value of work, dedication and commitment. This is a complete opposite to how Europeans looked at Filipinos as the brilliance of the universities before, during Rizal’s time for example.

We can still uplift the way people see us, and it should still start from ourselves, like what the last line says on my debate speech: shame on those who do not take pride on their homeland.

BE PROUD, A NATION OF SERVANTS PERHAPS, BUT SERVANTS CAN GO HIGHER, CAN MOVE UPWARDS... AND FOR THOSE WHO ACT AS BOSSES ON TOP? WELL, THEY HAVE NOWHERE TO GO BUT DOWNWARDS.

ma-'TALIM' NA LATE TY ENTRY

2009-03-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

I know it’s quite late to celebrate my joy and say my thank you's through blogging, but bare with me as I tried my best to squeeze this on my free time =D

ANYWAY…

There are 4 categories in our Videofest: Talkshow, NEWS, Feature and yes… the documentary category. It was the category that everyone was waiting for, the last but not the least, the most unpredictable category. And yup, remember the documentary that I was telling you about on my previous entry? The one I directed? The one I thought or assumed to would not have a chance on winning? Well guess what…

IT JUST WON!

BEST SCRIPT, BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN AND TADA… VIDEOFEST ’09 BEST DOCUMENTARY PROGRAM!

The moment I was handed the microphone for the speech, I automatically uttered: “If only I can bring you all guys to Binangonan, in Isla Talim, and experience the joy we have felt!”

“...it is a privilege to be in the documentary category because we get to see the reality of life and the best part of it is that we get to share it with you guys…”

I almost forgot to say thank you because I was so overwhelmed with the result. See CEU Malolos’ entry “Mahabe Pagota” (tama ba spelling?), which featured the livelihood in Sierra Madre, was getting almost all the minor awards, so the moment Sir Villarante announced: “1st place is… Mahabe Pagota!”, I was like shocked in disbelief because all along I thought they would get the best documentary award.

So, if CEU Malolos won 1st place… who could the winner be? Gawd, I didn’t wanna assume but my hands were trembling, I was hugging the guy beside me (don’t worry I know him), and I am at the same time telling myself: WAG KA MAG-ASSUME, WAG KA MAG-ASSUME, MAY MGA IBA PANG ENTRIES……

“the best documentary program is… TALIM!”

The feeling of standing up and walking down the auditorium is better than going up the stage, and don’t ask me why coz I don’t know the reason either. We were like freaks up stage, we’re dancing like monkeys, and we simply enjoyed the moment. Like what some said: pailalim daw kami tumira, we weren’t getting much award, only to find out that we will be getting the best of the best award… yun oh!

Yes indeed, it was a cherry on top, on top of a big pile of lessons and realizations that I learned as I savor the journey of directing this ‘super astig’ documentary!

Again I guess it’s never too late to show my appreciation right?

To Tata Raul, my biggest apology for still not being able to thank you personally, but I am sincerely grateful to have met someone like you who is so devoted to his hometown and to his passion as well. Thanks for the book too Tata Raul, you are truly a good soul with a gift on words that I somehow envy (mahina po kasi ako magsulat sa Tagalog eh, hehe).

To the people in Talim, man this place is solid, solid as i-Touch by the way, haha! Thanks for welcoming us warmly, for trusting us, and for supporting us. I am happy that we got to use your place as an implement to show the people the real meaning of contentment. Truly this place is blessed with good resources and most especially with good people.

To BUMS (Business Unusual Media Solutions), my biggest THANK YOU’S to all of you guys! That’s all… haha! Nah! Thanks to Kuya Jun, Tim, Monty and Jeypi for the all out support, for the patience and for the friendship most especially. We started out as naïve students to all these equipment for shooting, and now we have familiarity on how to use them. Thanks for the post production and the freebies as well. Ultimately I thank you guys for not hindering us to explore our capabilities yet instead you honed us by sharing your knowledge in ways that we could both enjoy each other’s company. Lastly, I personally wanna thank you bums for making me realize that what is essential is purely being happy on what you do, as much as you guys enjoy what you're doing… but then again… you can only do so much. =)

To i-Touch team, thanks for basically being the coolest and craziest production team I have ever worked with. Thanks for sticking up with one another to continue this topic despite the uncertainties of failing. I remembered the time I broke down because I felt helpless and hopeless with our group, haha, shooting lang pala katapat nyo. I was surprised with each and everyone’s performance on the shoot, I saw the excitement and enthusiasm, yup I saw Ram’s excitement (di lang sya halata) =P I guess this is the perfect grad gift I can give Nena, since she never won any award on her previous years. We broke the curse dear… and we broke it very well!

Lastly I wanna thank all the people who discouraged me. As I write this I realized how weak I have become for giving up so easily. It just saddens me that some people who are in the position to inspire and encourage others would rather choose to dispirit them instead. Well what can I say, I still respect those people, for without them there will be no balance in nature… you know, the yin and the yang… the negative and the positive?

Aryt, got so much time for this blog already, I better get going… thanks thanks to everyone again…

It was the passion and the heart that made us won this, coz believe it or not… masaya kame sa ginagawa namen… *weh wushu!* =D

MR. YM AND MR. BUTTON'S LESSONS ON TIME

2009-02-24T06:08:00.000-08:00

The start of the year for me has been jam packed like the usual. I’m not complaining though, I’d rather be busy than do nothing but non-progressive stuffs that I usually do before I came to this point of straightening up my priorities. One thing that took most of my time is the documentary I directed for our video fest this year. Yes, directing and owning up a big part of the responsibility in the group. The moment I was given the privilege to direct a documentary I really said to myself: ‘kakaririn ko to!’. Last Friday when we had our public viewing and saw the other documentary entries, I started asking myself: ‘kinarir ko nga ba?’

I was touched with the people who appreciated our entry, but I couldn’t deny that there have been bad comments as well. Somehow, no not somehow, I was devastated with the lack of focus I had with the script. I’d rather blame myself than dwell on the scriptwriter or the host or whoever is involved, because I am aware that it is still my responsibility to double check if everything’s okay. I thought I was a failure, or rather stupid for not noticing a simple detail of ‘continuity’ in the scene. That I am a director who settled for less because I didn’t spent much attention on the interviews. I thought I wasn’t good enough for the position, that I don’t deserve it, yeah, I thought of the awful side too much. It’s not that I have issues dealing with defeats, I have joined different contests many times already, but this will be the first time that I am going to represent a big factor on the production, after all, I am the director. Maybe it’s my pride, or I’m just scared to be discouraged afterwards, I really don’t know.

But as close as I am to giving up, to not attending the awards night, I remembered the good words of ‘Mr. YM’ (di ko po sya chatmate ha,haha) and of Mr. Button =D

Two different stories of time and me learning from both of it. I learned from Mr. YM that there will always be room for compromise. I realized how jumbled my priorities are, and fixing them up would also mean sacrificing some ‘good things’ as well. Losing a loved one for example, he left for a reason that I should have expected before hand: lack of time. If only I could make him understand that I myself would want to have someone to cheer me up when I’m stressful and tired, but cannot because that would mean dividing my attention on a much important matter. Mr. YM also told me that one should do what makes him happy first before expecting to be happy with someone else. I have to agree on that! That is probably or precisely the reason why he’s happy despite being anonymous with a chic named ‘Time’. I realized that relationships can wait, that I should stop playing with commitments but actually being into it at the right time. I should embrace my works oblivious with the recognitions, be grateful for the opportunities of executing my passion. I should love what I’m doing first, give my best, and realize that the perfect award is self satisfaction! Lastly I learned from Mr. YM that everyone’s a critic. I am a critic myself. I learned to pig out on the yummy side of life, and gag the repulsive part of the meal. Like what is mentioned, it’s the reward of self satisfaction. Now if you’ll ask me if I’m satisfied… I am big time! I’ll even have my second serving of the meal later!

Going to Mr. Button, man I cried! It was the perfect movie for me at the moment. I love the movie merely because it talked about life, time and history. Three things I love to talk about, yet I overlook once in a while.

Here are some quotes from the movie that I love love love:

We’re meant to lose the people we love. How else are we supposed to know how important they are?

Your life is defined by its opportunities… even the ones you miss.

- I have always believed that if opportunity knocks on your door, then it is yours for a reason. If by chance you have missed it, then again there’s a reason for it… a good reason most probably.

Benjamin: I was thinking how nothing lasts, and what a shame that is.
Daisy: Some things last.

Sometimes we’re on a collision course, and we just don’t know it. Whether it’s by accident or by design, there’s not a thing we can do about it.

- the best precautions we can do is to be careful with our decisions because the end doesn’t just justify the means, but the means will ultimately justify its end.

You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went; you can swear and curse the fates - but when it comes to the end, you have to let go.

- Damn this hit me! At the end of it all what is done is done, good thing prayers have kept me sane.

And the part that made me cry was when Caroline read Benjamin’s message for her:
For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

My friends from way back know how I used to plan my life specifically as how I wanted it to happen. They are the same people who saw me disappoint myself for not being able to follow what is intended.

...now circumstances taught me to enjoy the carousel ride.

Benjamin Button showed life and death in a new perspective. I am a dreamer, a risk taker, a neophyte, a fan; I am born to show others, primarily my family, that I can be as good as them (maybe better) in the field of arts. I may have failed for some reasons that I am gradually trying to comprehend, but life doesn’t end there, time didn’t stop chasing chances, so as the clock says tick-tock-tick-tock… do something… time won’t wait for you to change… it won’t stop for you to start again.

EXHAUSTING

2009-02-05T05:56:00.000-08:00

Yeah I wasn’t able to update my blog for very exhausting reasons, hehe.

OUR QUEENIE DIED.

Our dog for 8 years. She was a brave one actually, she got blind a year ago but she never became bitter about it. Queenie is sensitive to viruses; she got blind due to it and yeah, died because of it. She is a little dog with a shy personality. She loves bread more than anything else. We would buy bread for her and feed her while we watch television at night. I cried a lot when she died although I was expecting it already. I prayed with tears while she was in the hospital.

Losing a pet is definitely losing a member of the family; I still can’t believe she’s not here anymore. I can imagine her passing by me as I write this while her tail wags as she hears the plastic of the bread she is about to eat. She was brave, and she was the nicest dog we ever had. I LOVE YOU QUEENIE! You’re with your mom Nokia now =(

THE DULLEST BDAY

Yeah, I celebrated my bday last January 30. I really had no plans to celebrate though coz I am saving money for our documentary film. Much to my dismay, half of the people who greet me every year DIDN’T GREET ME THIS YEAR! The whole day was plain boring. Everything I want to focus on was connected to the documentary we’re doing. I was exhausted with the work loads. I dunno, maybe this is the sad part when growing old, birthdays sometimes become less special =(

BUT THE BEST PART IS!!!

I am the director of our production group. The challenge is obviously there, but the hell, I am embracing it whole heartedly! This is actually a competition at the same time, together with the Talk Show, NEWS, and Feature category.

We had our shoot last February 1 and 2. The experience is over whelming and I just feel privileged to be doing a documentary and seeing the reality of life first hand (clue: we had a shoot in an island)!

I am also chosen by the Talk Show group of our team to be one of their hosts. It was another privilege to be able to converse and hear your opinions on cam! The best part is that I get to work with Drew Arellano!

Hai, maybe this busy life may have caused all the stress and exhaustion, nevertheless I’m still thankful coz it is a balanced life after all… like what they say… you lose some, you win some =)

CHILD'S PLAY

2009-01-11T06:43:00.000-08:00

Children make you want to start life over. ~Muhammad Ali

sometimes all they need is a playmate

no to domestic violence
papa jesus
selfish limelight
innocence of a girl
till boys do us part
hopeful
bullied
dead kid
naive
sunday afternoonjump

habulan

martyr

in the pictures: charlotte, charles, andrea and of course... aidan =D

TWO GUYS AND A POST

2008-12-30T08:08:00.000-08:00

shout out to COY for our Wii Party last sunday at Redbox Trinoma!

IT WAS FUN!!!

i believe i would lose some weight if i play Wii sport everyday haha!
me and levy: the same freaks in the pic you have chosen haha!
THANKS PALAWAN GANG FROM YOURS TRULY & THE 4 OTHER LUCKY FRIENDS I BROUGHT W/ ME =D

*in case you're wondering why am I thanking Coy, click this RELATED ENTRY*

LET ME LEAVE YOU GUYS WITH THIS VIDEO OF FAFAFOL
-HALLELUJAH (BAMBOO)-

ANO BA YAN!!

2008-12-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

despite the holiday cheers, please do let me just rant about some of my ultimate "ANO BA YAN!!" moments =D

EWE THE CHOCNUT CAKE!
ANO BA YAN! di masarap! hehe, sorry pero i just don't get the taste, 3 days na sya sa ref, they didn't like it either i guess!

Iba paren pag Chocnut talaga! love it!

FRIENDSTER GLITCH AGAIN!
ANO BA YAN! FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL USING FRIENDSTER, EVER WONDERED WHY SOME OF YOUR DISTANT FRIENDS ARE SUDDENLY GIVING YOU MESSAGES AND COMMENTS? PERO MY GOD, PERVERTED NAMAN YUNG CONTENT? LIKE THIS PICTURE...

"CAUTION: AUTOMATIC COMMENTS AND VIDEOS!!!!

You probably got a message from one of your friend saying you'd been filmed and there's a web link that you tried opening but can't get through. Well, by doing that you're not only posting an automatic message to some of your friends but risking your computer for potential virus too....
So be aware of these messages and try to ignore or delete them. The people who's doing this are from the Philippines and their mimicking Youtube's URL web page.
Right now their posting automatic comments with the video of a sexy girl and if you tried opening it you'll post the exact same comment to some of your random friends...
In addition, if you receive a comment and/or message that has a video with a link that takes you to what looks like a friendster log-in page delete the comment and do not use the log-in link.
Someone has phished the account it came from and is trying to phish yours.
Using the log-in link will give them your log-in info and access to your account to do whatever they want.
To help prevent this. I'm asking everyone to repost this bulletin or send this message to all of your friends. With this we can have a much more better friendster experience.
Thanks to all.
Also, much better if you change your password."

TSK2... now i get it!

Friendster is slowly deteriorating huh!

MULTIPLY NA LANG TAYONG LAHAT!

BODIES AND... THAT'S IT!

ANO BA YAN! These dancers just disappoints me, sorry but it's kinda cheap, well some of them... eh kasi yung iba di talaga pretty, but they're sexy... yung iba 'mahina' talaga, but they're sexy.
yeah, body, that's their puhunan, they dance wearing skimpy outfits, WHAT FOR?? Hai, buti na lang they have the body, but that's just about it!

TAKIPSILIM YOUR FACE!
ANO BA YAN!
"ABS-CBN has bought the rights to make a tv version of the hit vampire novel "Twilight", ABS-CBN's CEO, Euegenio Lopez III signed a contract last December 6, 2008 for the tv adaptation of Twilight, the rights cost a more than a million dollars, the taping is set to start next year by February in Baguio, Tagaytay, Bukidnon and some parts will tape outside the country. And it will be directed by Cathy Garcia Molina, the tv adaptation will focus with the love story between Edward and Bella, this is much more than a drama, romance, but also fantasy. This is co-produce by Ignite Media Inc."

HAHAHA.... after Gossip Girls' Filipino version Lipgloss (in TV5), here comes another one of those scriptwriters lazy way of creating a good series. COPYCAT! Filipino version or your easy way out to get the audience's attention, palibhasa nag-hit yung original, that doesn't mean your version will!

Tabing Ilog (Dawson's Creek version) did well... but Munting Paraiso (7th Heaven version) definitely didn't!

SAYANG ANG REBOND!

ANO BA YAN! Remember from my previous post na nagpa-rebond ako? well guess what, i just wasted my thousands. 2 of my friends (cath and renz) decided to have their hair done, sumama kame ni justine... "encouraged" us to have a haircut... and whoala, we both cried after!!!

anyway... ang laki ng eyebags ko dito sa pic na to ah?
i probably should sleep na! nahnyt creatures! mwah!

RACE TO THE FINISH LINE

2008-12-10T04:35:00.000-08:00

IT IS INEVITABLE... DEATH.

THE DEAD - MARKY CIELO
I was really surprised when i heard about Marky Cielo's death... my friend sent a group text message about it, and doubted her at first. But when I saw the vtr about his death in Showbiz Central, that's the time i dropped my jaw, shooked my head, and whispered: "OMG, di ako makapaniwala".

Not everyone knows Marky actually, but the good impression he showed to the viewers is enough for him to be recognized. I remembered how I really wished for him to win in Starstruck, I'm not really a fan of morenos but his looks just got this charm, the Igorot charm maybe.

20 years old, only had two decades to live. Some say it was suicide, I say it was a sad thought. I agree with other people's presumptions that he tried drugs though, got too much of it and died. I have always been proud on his good image, but was it too much that he decided to release himself through means of tablets or whatsoever? Don't blame us for thinking this way, if only his family can share the medical report then there will be no speculations at all!

Lovi Poe said this message in SIS: "alam mo naman na andito lang kami, isang text o tawag lang..YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT"

and Glaiza de Castro's message: "sana maging peaceful ka kung san ka man naroroon ngayon..alam mo naman un eh...PWEDE MO NAMAN SABIHIN SAMIN"

and when Marky's mom was asked if it was a work related or personal problem, her mom said that it wasn't work related... let's all just read between the lines.

Marky has so much to give, but I guess good people really have higher tendency of dying early (hai, i'm safe). I wonder, what was he thinking that moment before he died? But whether it was suicide or not, he will still remain as one of the nicest actor of his generation. It was a total surprise, true enough, we can't really tell when we will reach the finish line.

HOPING NOT TO DIE - DURA DURA GANG INCIDENT
DURA DURA GANG- GROUP OF THEFT WHO SPITS ON THEIR VICTIMS TO DISTRACT THEM IN ORDER TO STEAL... KADIRI!

Me, and three other friends decided to watch 100 in Robinsons Galleria. We rode a GLiner bus going to Cainta. The bus was almost full so we decided to look for vacant seats at the back. Two guys unhesitatingly stood up to give us their seats... and i automatically doubted them because you can hardly meet such guys already (and ewe, they look like holdapers naman talaga noh!). Me and Marlyn were seated together while Cara and Jairo were seated at the back. Marlyn was just telling me of her experience on the "dura dura gang" when suddenly the guy standing beside us approached the girl seated at the right end of the back seat: "miss may dura ka sa kanang balikat mo". Me and marlyn were carefully looking at the girl, quite surprised since we were just talking about it seconds ago. My heartbeat went faster while waiting for Marlyn's go signal to go down (kahit nagbayad na kami, tsk, sayang!).

"Marlyn yung kaharap, katabi mo, at kalikod natin magkaka-kuntsaba yan"

The four of us, and the poor girl at the right end were surrounded by the "dura-dura gang"! Before we went down, Marlyn and Cara told the konduktor that there are suspected (actually di na suspected eh!) theft at the back. Hai, i wonder what happened to the girl we left, hope she went home safely.

THE DYING - CHRIS MARTINEZ' S 100
The Audience Award on this year's Cinemalaya, Best Actress for Mylene Dizon, Best Director and Best Screenplay Awards for Direk Chris, and the Best Supporting Actress Award for Eugene. This movie is about Joyce (Mylene D.), a cancer patient who only has 3 months to live. Knowing this she decided to write on post-its the things she would be doing before she dies. She was hopeless, three doctors already told her that there is no hope of curing. And so came the different ways of Joyce to live her last few months to the fullest.

I like Ruby's (Eugene D.) character, adding comic yet sweetness to the story. She is Joyce's bestfriend, and I guess she is the representation of "friendship". It was quite hard when Tessie Tomas' (Joyce's mother in the film) character came into picture. Anything that has got to do with motherhood can really make you cry. She is the representation of family. Lastly, I like Rod's (TJ Trinidad) and Emil's (Ryan Eigenman) role, one to whom Joyce has a secret affair with, and the other one is Joyce's first love. Obviously they represent love. Altogether they spiced up Joyce's struggle to make her last three months more meaningful and worthwhile.

I admire Joyce because I have always been afraid of death, who isn't right? Thoughts of dying is one of my phobias, that's why i really wanted to watch this film thinking that this would help me (it did I guess since I'm writing about death after all). Joyce is truly a valiant woman, giving a positive view on death. Being more hopeful than sucking up to hopelessness.
And if I discover that I only have few months to live, the things that I would want to do are:
- tour Europe
- pero Bora muna!
- sing like a rock star in front of a large audience
- have a photo exhibit
- direct a film and do an advertisement
- serve the PAWS foundation
- drive and drift
- eat all guilty pleasures
- get intimate with guys... and i mean guySSSS...
- but after that, in front of this guy's over confident face, I will tell 'him' how much he means to me, then i'll slap him two times for making me cry a gallon of tears, then hug him tightly after, kiss him passionately... tapos syempre gets nyo na yung sunod...
- tell everyone... each and everyone... who made a mark in my life how much i love them, then thank them... most especially, i will ask for forgiveness.
- compose and sing a Christian song
- lastly, i will go to Calaruega, talk to Him for as long as I want to, then attend Christian services in three different churches (Victory, TNJ, and Jzone).

We will all go there... una unahan lang daw sabi nga nila... each minute brings us closer to the finish line. Simply enjoy the race, that's the only precaution we can do.

"Naalala ko sabi ni daddy... if everyone wants to go to heaven, then why nobody wants to die?" - Joyce (100)

DONT JUST READ THEM... WIN THEM!

2008-12-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

i guess Christmas is all about giving after all since even bloggers are into it!

yeah, we don't just write, we give prizes... no... THEY give prizes... AND I JOIN THEIR CONTESTS =D

latest contest from a blogger (don't be confused with "blog contest" it's a more difficult game =P) that i discovered is the 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS, 12 DAYS OF GIVEAWAYS AT MUSIC PICKS BLOG!
sound exciting? well guess what, the prizes are a lot more exciting because it's a surprise! GULAT KA NO? (weh corny haha)

WANNA KNOW THE PRIZE? clue: MUSIC RELATED
better join now to win
simply go here: Music Blog Philippines and discover what the hell those freakin' prizes are!

- - - - - - -
you'll never know, you can be just as lucky as me, i joined Coy's Strike a Palawan Gang Pose and Win contest (uso pala mahahabang title ng contest no?hehe) and I actually won! kaya red box here we come, although i am still waiting for cokski's (Coy) reply... thanks Palawan Gang!

i won because of this picture with levy

kaya tumabi na yung mga pics nyo ng bundok at beach, di nakakalibre sa red box yan,haha!

hope i could meet the gang too... ciao!

ONE MORE OINK...

2008-11-17T04:20:00.000-08:00

Even from the teaser of the movie One More Chance, I already hoped na sana, HE’LL remember me here somehow or another. Pero di ko nga sure if napanood nya yung movie na to eh.

Siguro one of the reasons why sobrang nag-hit yun is because many can relate to it. Many can see themselves in John Lloyd, Bea and even Maja’s character. In the case of the never ending roller coaster of ‘our’ story, I can relate to the three. I have been John Lloyd when he broke up with me, when he chose to break my heart. I even became Maja, when he decided to let go of me to be with another girl, if only it could be done… but it can’t be done. And of course, I definitely felt Bea’s pain, I almost said the same thing, iba siguro yung mga salita, pero pareho paren na nakakaawa, ang totoo hanggang ngaun umaasa pa rin ako na sabihin mo sakin na ako pa rin.. ako na lang.. ako na lang ulit..

Ang nakakatawa pa dun, pati yung argument ni Popoy and Basha because Basha is with Francis in the hotel, naka-relate din ako. We had an argument before kasi I’m still having a communication with his schoolmate Francis (same name, pero this Francis is more evil than that of the movie) =P

Like, I was hoping so hard that he would get to see the movie and remember me, mababaw, pero gusto ko.

Early September of this year, nagalit ako sa kanya kasi he cancelled our plan to watch a movie. Maraming beses na sya nagka-cancel! Nagalit na talaga ako so I didn’t talk to him for 2 weeks. Then biglang nag-premiere yung One More Chance sa Cinema 1. I watched it again, and tears still fell from my eyes, ayun natext ko tuloy sya ng musta. Di lang pala alak may magic pagalawin kamay mo para itext mga di dapat itext… pati pala One More Chance! Pero gusto ko kasi malaman if he’s watching it too eh.

When I asked him what he’s doing, sabe niya watching tv daw, shox, buti naman! I asked him kung ano, sa Star Movies daw. Langya, channel 55 yung star movies, channel 56 cinema one… isang pindot na lng di pa nadale!

So months passed, November na ngayon. Last Saturday magkatext uli kame, I asked him to watch Invasion sa HBO, he did naman. After a while, I asked him what he’s doing:

(i call him babs, he calls me bAbi)

babs: yung kay regine naman pinapanood ko hehehe,. kaw?

bAbi: same here… hehehe! di nga ko naiyak eh, (lam nya kasi na madali ako maiyak sa mga movies) lamo onting inch lang tangkad sakin nyan ni regine, pero mukhang matangkad sa screen.

babs: edi pandak pala si regine, lol.. kawa2 nga si regine eh,.

bAbi: kawawa b sya? mas maganda pren ung one more chance, nkakaiyak talaga! hehe..

babs: one more chance? ano un? Lolz

my gawd, he doesn’t even know it??

bAbi: d moh lam un?ung sumikat last yr.na movie nina john lloyd and bea, ung maikli ung hair ni bea dun..one more chance??

babs: ah un ba ung may linya ako sayo na mas malaki ka nga sakin pero di mo ko kayang patumbahin?

inaasar nya kasi ako laging mataba… pero at last, alam nga nya!

bAbi: so kailan ka pa naging john Lloyd ha? oo yun! u watch it, i know some guys na naiyak dun, ewan ko lang syo if maiiyak ka xe bato ka eh =P

babs: ah cge, hanap nga ko dvd nun!

bAbi: yeah… or wait mo sa cinema one…

we had some off topic conversation after, then stopped texting for a while…

I was surfing the channel then I went to Cinema One to check the movie, to my surprise, naka-list sa sked nila (if you have Digibox, you’ll see the upcoming movie below the screen), 4pm One More Chance daw! hahaha! ang bilis magparamdam!

Around 3:45 he texted me na nasa HBO daw aq… Charlottes Web yung movie, may baboy sa scene (like expected)… dun ko narin sinabe na manood sa cinema1 ng 4pm ng one more chance. He asked me if eto yung sinasabi ko kanina (bilis makalimot), I said yes and told me na cge daw he’ll watch it. The whole movie di kami mgkatext, every scene iniisip ko kung naaalala ba nya ko dun, kahit sa peanut butter scene man lang ni Bea since mahilig ako dun, basta watching the movie again became a whole lot different this time… coz I now he’s watching it too. Kaso pinanood nga nya kaya?

The moment the credits came out at the end of the movie, I received a text message… from him…

babs: Babsha… im sorry! Hahaha!

babsha, his version of baboy na Basha (bea’s name in the movie)

bAbi: kaw pigpoy… pig na popoy!hehe!.. ganda noh?

babs: oo… medjo naiyak aq…lolz… kawawa naman aq dun =(

bAbi: mas kawawa kaya si Bea dun noh!

he called me Babsha for 3 days ata hehe… pero mission accomplished, through this movie, I hope he understood the pain I’ve gone through, somehow. Two years after they broke up, Basha and Popoy finally got back together. Two years na kaming break, pareho ren kaya?

He became a huge part of my life already. It’s true that you will get into a relationship so many times, but there will always be this one past that stands out, that stays on, and maybe… hopefully… does come back too.

I just hope ours do come back. I’m losing time.

Will you change that love or love the change?
–One More Chance

GANON TALAGA SA BASTE?

2008-11-06T03:41:00.000-08:00

i went to school last Tuesday (November 4) to enroll for 2nd semester.

Ang tagal umandar ng mga sasakyan sa recto going to legarda side so i decided na maglakad na lang to look for the right jeepney. Kung baga ako yung aandar para makahanap sila ng pasahero, langyang traffic yan!

Anyway, nung papunta na ko sa baste (san sebastian college) napansin ko agad yung dami ng tao sa labas ng gate... i wondered what's going on. Pag deretso ko sa baste, wow, may pila sa labas papuntang gate nila. They're in civilian and looks like they're gonna enroll. Deretso paren ako, aba may pila paren! ang liit nung daan so if feel mo magpapansin that time, sana dumaan ka dun kasi if you're one of the students lining up, you'll see yourself just observing the people walking through. Yung haba ng pila nkakagulat, as in lagpas na sa vicinity ng baste... i have to walk across them na kasi baka di ako makalabas sa pila to get a jeepney if i kept on walking.

now, i appreciate the process of enrollment sa ceu, kung tutuusin hassle free naman talaga eh, nagpapa-hassle lang saken yung schedule, maarte kasi ko sa sked eh, hehe!

I am not ultimately bashing baste, i believe this is a good school, i was just surprised that they have to line up outside. Mali yun. Enrollment means paying their tuition fees, let them experience every peso of it.

pero in fairness to san sebastian, i like their player JC na kasama sa survivor philippines. and spoiler guys... sya ang sole survivor... badtrip xe it's already announced to certain websites, mismong staff pa nga daw minsan ng GMA nadudulas in some public places eh (the hearsays), pero yeah, sya talaga! well, either kiko, him, vern naren, yung gusto ko naman manalo eh, so pwede na! cute cute jc congrats! =D

PS: from ohmski - di daw totoo. gumawa na ang statements sa kumalat na chismis. - i may be wrong if he's the winner, but if he is, i have nothing to complain about =D

DATING, READING, REBONDING

2008-10-31T02:08:00.001-07:00

DATING

One of my myscoop report in my candymag profile:

What's the best kind of first date for you?
~ seriously, both of us drinking beer, while having a good and sensible conversation from 9pm to 2am... and yes, despite drinking, he will still be able to bring me home without touching any part of my body, except my heart (oooh.too emo.) ~

…okay actually this already happened to me with my ‘summer boyfriend’. We had our first date at Dencio’s, ordered a bucket of sanmig and be surprised that it’s a bucket of 10 pala, not 6 (may promo sila). We didn’t get to consume all the beers, coz if we did, I don’t think that would be called a date at all… a drinking session maybe!
We ended up at around 1am (almost like my ideal 1st date huh?). But hell NO! He brought me home… HIS HOME, and yup, he did get to touch my whole body… unfortunately except my heart =/

Our relationship lasted for 2 weeks only, summer boyfriend nga!hehe!

READING

"Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa." - Bob Ong

Ouch… tumama ng bonggang bongga sa ulo ko yun ah! Actually I am aware of this fact even before I saw this quote from Bob Ong. Kaso talagang ganon eh, I was born with no interest in reading, to think that I lived with books and bookshelves because my mom is a certified bookworm. Although I enjoy reading the newspaper, the editorial page most especially. I enjoy reading columns like Youngblood (in Phil.Daily Inquirer), or Chicken Soup books. In short, those books with a short narrative about their experiences, real experiences. I am after the lessons learned, the thoughts pondered. That’s just about it.

Kung fictional o/at nobela paguusapan, kahit Harry Potter pa yan, hai… promise, I tried... pero Harry Potter didn’t do me justice. I know that somehow I am gifted with the skill to write, I love writing actually. My mom is a journalist (in Manila Times) so I’m not surprised. Pero mananatili akong mahina sa mundo ng pagsusulat kung di ko tuturuan ang sarili ko magbasa. Gawd, it amaze me sometimes whenever I meet people who get so excited to read a certain book… ano bang nakaka-excite dun? TWILIGHT, nako, damang dama ko na ang pagtataka, I am thinking of opening a few pages, baka Edward Cullen can help me. Kailangan ko magbasa, yung walang pictures, yung medyo mahaba, samahan mo naren ng malalim na salita.

Kailangan na kailangan ko na magbasa… para di ako magmukhang kawawa.

REBONDING

It’s my first time to spend thousands for my hair. I decided to try rebonding as a solution to my perennial hair problem. No, my hair doesn’t look that bad, see I have a thick and wavy type of hair. Some like it coz my hair has a natural body, some envy my hair actually (mga baliw). The problem is I wasn’t able to visit the salon for treatment since this year kicked off, naging frizzy and dry tuloy… kaya hello rebond, now my hair looks thinner and softer. I didn’t regret spending so much for my hair (ipon ko yun gurl!) coz I believe this is ultimately our crowning glory. Your hair can make you the ugliest (but I’m not ugly, a little less pretty lang!=P) to the prettiest princess believe me!

To cite an example, when I got home from the salon I went to the sari-sari store along our street to buy some load. As I was walking my way home, someone on a bicycle asked my name because his friend asked him to. Sus, I just laughed and kept walking, he followed me, pero dedma paren!

See, I’ve been going to that sari-sari store since last year to buy load… but it seems like this is the very first time they saw me, haha!

JUST STAND UP feat. mariah, beyonce, rihanna, etc.

2008-10-26T02:00:00.000-07:00

here, in this video, are the amazing female singers in FASHION ROCKS that worked together to support the Cancer's cause:
Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Fergie, Sheryl Crow, Miley Cyrus, Melissa Etheridge, Ashanti, Natasha Bedingfield, Keyshia Cole, Ciara, Leona Lewis, LeAnn Rimes, Nicole Scherzinger, and Carrie Underwood.

why is nicole scherzinger not in the picture? well actually melissa etheridge, sheryl crow & leann rimes are featured in the song but didnt get to perform so they had nicole scherzinger to do it

anyway...

carrie underwood's short...

mariah is wearing a shirt, wow not too obscene, congrats..

i dont like beyonce's hair, probably rihanna's influences =P

love fergie's voice, very manly... bwahaha..

i don't get nichole's outfit..

ciara didn't have a solo part?

is that natasha bedingfield with the white pants? pasaway...

leona lewis looked like a mariah clone..

keyshia cole and ashanti... ow, yeah i almost forgot they're there =P

mary j. blige looks like beyonce's mother here...

and

what the hell are you doing there miley cyrus?? she spoiled the song, she should have lowered her voice a bit... "Things get better....What..ever!"? well things get better miley!! whatever...

christina aguilera or alicia keys should have been there don't you think?

but nevertheless, i still love the song!!!

SO LAST SEM SUCKS (fao is back!)

2008-10-23T00:55:00.000-07:00

Our net got busted for a month (whew! total sacrifice!) so I have to catch up on my photos and page (bare with me if I upload overdue pics =D). Speaking of which, as I was browsing on my pending photos, I have realized (benhur kaw ba yan?) how much I missed my old friends. No, not the literal “old” ones, but my friends from high school and previous semesters.

I miss my high school buddies, it’s still different when I’m with them, primarily because they’re my batch mates. See, it’s still a whole lot different when you’re with people of the same age or older than you, coz ultimately, they make a lot of sense. My high school buddies are my sanity, they may be practical, but ain’t cheap… definitely!

I miss the original 1D! Two consecutive Saturdays, I, together with some of the original 1D, met up at Pier1 and at Gif’s bday. Simple yet fulfilling. 1D is our section when we were in 1st year college. Yes, these are my first set of friends in ceu (not technically speaking though, hehe). Some shift courses, some changed school, but I dunno, being with them still brings smile to my face. I even have a very very long blog dedicated to them in friendster. Yes some may be younger than me, but if I’ll compare them to the bunch of kiddos I’m meeting at present, I bet you, they’re way C – O – O – L to deal with. And I’m quite proud that my little sisters before are now just like me, gimikeras na! Reich, Garret, and of course Cara, they know how to party already, sometimes you really have to bite on the other side to experience ‘FUN’, right gurls?

I miss my St. Joseph’s college friends (kumpleto talaga ung name ng st.jo?haha). See I’ve spent my 1st semester last school year in that school. Gawd, I had so much fun in that one sem! You know what’s cool about that school, besides you being friends with everyone because of the small population, is actually the fact that social climbers are less tolerable there compared to ceu *but I soooo love ceu, im not generalizing everyone*. The girlfriends I had in st.jo are incomparable! They’re so humble, yet bitchy, ow yeah, that’s what I like about them! And what I meant by bitchy, is being more experienced in life, therefore we can relate to each other, no KJ’s whatsoever. But there are some drama queens in the way, many immature honestly, but you know why I still miss them? Because they’re immaturity lead us to be Blair Waldorf (gossip girls) or Regina George (mean girls)! And what’s so special about that you may ask? Simple… it ain’t boring!

Lastly I miss my college friends from other schools, mainly Letran, UST, APC, Trinity, etc. (haha, halo halo tlaga kme). I miss my ex-bestfriend Ryan, or my UAAP angels Lexie and Jelaine. I miss my macho papa Mackoy, Poknat’s crew. I miss Domingo and his sisig. I miss the good times (with Mo? haha). Those moments when all we wanna do is have a joy ride and end up having a very emo conversation outside Select convenient store. Or Jam playing the guitar while everyone else plays sober even if we’re evidently fucked up and wasted already. I miss the advices… I miss the real college students.

This semester has been a whole lot different compared to my past semesters. Maybe because this is the first time I’ve been the irregular student. But I dunno, if I’ll sum up this semester, minus the academic side of it, I would say it was plain boring. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my present friends, I treasure them actually, but if given the choice, I know I’ll go for my ‘old’ friends. That is one of the reasons why I had at least one subject with section B, I don’t want to be detached from the warm group (borgy, marlyn, etc.). Maybe Jairo understands me, he seems to be enjoying the B section.

To simplify it, I miss being with the “real college barkada”. Do you ever remember a time when you’re younger and you’ll see college barkadas and realize (benhur again?haha) how cool they are? You hear their conversations and jest that you just can’t wait to go to college? That’s what I’m missin’! But of course I have a choice, I can still meet up with my ‘old’ friends, but considering my 32units semester, the best thing to do is to go with the flow. I’m not used to this though; I don’t like to be in a group where they never get tired to push each other’s egos. I want the group whom I can hang out with during Saturday nights. Or girlfriends I can have a chat with in Starbucks (or any café for that matter). I miss the convoys and joy rides. I want my friends who know the “good” places, not the cheap ones. I’m not being judgmental, I just miss being with the friends I’m used to hang with. The group where I will actually grow, this sem has been a boring roller coaster indeed, whew, it’s hard to put your studies on top of your list!

Finally it’s sembreak! Wake up lovelife, wake up night life, wake up chikkas, wake up vanity… it’s time to pamper myself. Next sem, I hope to have a better one, a wilder one to be exact!

AUGUSTRATION!

2008-09-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

(august frustrations)

It’s the start of the ‘Ber’ months and I hope some wishes will do come true… after all, it’s just a few days away from Christmas… hai, hope the coming months will be a lot better!

I HATE THIS THREE LETTERS: S L R

Single- lens reflex camera, when can I have one? Hai, I swear that when my dad calls from abroad again I will never forget to ask him to buy me one. I know it’s expensive but maybe we can work it out, marame naman sa quiapo eh. I don’t know but I think… or rather… I believe that I have it, given the proper gadget… I can pursue my niche in photography.

Right now, I am stuck with Cybershot, not so cyber for me though. But thank you Lord for all the blessings.

NOW THIS THREE NUMBERS: 1 6 8

Yeah, I have been planning to shop in station 168 since July actually, and yet until now, I haven’t gone anywhere near Tutuban. To be honest, I’ve only been to Tutuban, Divisoria or Station 168 for less than 5 times only, considering that I am studying in Ubelt and I actually reside only somewhere in Pureza. Whenever I have savings for my shopping journey in 168, gimmicks, biglaang inuman, school expenditures get in my way, argh! I envy those who have showed me GOOD stuffs they’ve bought in Tutuban, with a very GOOD price as well.

I have new clothes though, yet I prefer to buy cheaper ones this time. But thank you Lord for all the blessings.

AND THIS NUMBER: T W O (2)

I have joined the recent CEU’s SELAMS Debate Contest. I am teamed up with Fritz and Keene, it’s their first time to join, while this is my second time. I am very fortunate because the first time I joined last 2006, our group grabbed the best debating team =D This year’s premise is “Federalism as the key solution to the present economic crisis”. I have to admit, it was nerve cracking, brain crushing, yet very challenging! We are on the opposition side, and on the very last minute we decided to put me from the position of deputy leader of the Opposition to Leader of the Opposition. I was surprised myself when all the jitters vanished and all I wanna do is scream out all the points of information we have congregated. But somehow I wasn’t able to do it. Some saw my effort, but I didn’t. We ended up as the 2nd best debating team, and it was even a tie between us and team B (there are 4 teams/ 2 premises). The funny thing is there aren’t enough silver medals since the remaining medals are bronze (the tie wasn’t expected of course), and those silver medals were handed down to team B since they’re the 1st one to come up stage. But of course we will still get our silver medals, to follow up. Now why am I frustrated? Simple, because being in 2nd place is the most crucial of them all. When you’re the 3rd, it’s easy to accept that maybe, you really did fall short. No need to complain if you’re the 1st. But being the 2nd, it makes me wanna ask myself: “If we did better, just a little more push to be better, could we have won?” Being in 2nd place is like being ‘almost there’. ALMOST!

They said that around 30 in our college were screened for the debate, so the chosen 12 who competed were the cream of the crop. I’ve received congratulations and praises after though, but still I guess I expected more from myself since we won the first time I joined. But thank you Lord for all the blessings.

FINALLY THESE LETTERS: L B S

Ow yeah, lbs, or pounds! This time many can relate to me… RAISE YOUR HANDS IF YOU’RE ONE OF US! Ang mga pumalya sa diet! Sorry naman, pero it’s so hard! Considering my tight, tiring and terrible schedule, the only fortress for relaxation besides sleeping and texting ‘him’ is to eat. I WANT TO HATE DINNER, BUT DINNER DOESN’T HATE ME =( Ow well, what shall I do, I’m gaining weight, I’m losing the sexy figure (waaaah, kabog!). Summer was hell for me… that was the time I bloated big time (if only bloated means bloated with water)! Anyone wants to hit a punching bag, my arms are very much eager to help you. Or anyone in need for a support in swimming, my bilbils (can anyone tell me the English of this word?) are very ready to help you float in water. And of course, want palo-palo for your labada? Or for anyone’s initiation maybe? My fatty pata is on the go to serve you!

*C’MON LET’S NOT EXPECT ANY BODY PICTURE HERE, PUHLEASE, I’LL DRINK MORE FIT&RIGHT FIRST BEFORE I DO THAT, DESPERATE MEASURES CAN MAKE YOU VULNERABLE TO ADVERTISEMENT*

I think I am fat, but they say I am only chubby (wow ha, is that a relief?), I miss my curves, but I still get guys though, haha! I hate being fat, my chest can’t get any bigger. I want to attract perverts no more =P But still thank you Lord for all the blessings.

YEAH AUGUSTRATIONS…

August frustrations.

I am only human, I do complain, I do get disappointed, I don’t always get what I want.

But then I also realized that I shouldn’t be frustrated at all, that I have survived, that I didn’t cry a river for whatever reasons lately, that I have a Cybershot while the rest settle for less, that I can still plan to shop while the rest can’t even squeeze it in their budget, that I am in 2nd place while the rest didn’t even made the list… and that I am gaining weight, while the unfortunates have nothing to eat.

THANK YOU LORD FOR ALL THE BLESSINGS!

PS: another frustration...being close to someone 2 weeks before he leaves for abroad. having that same affection for someone only to find out that it wasn't gonna be for so long.

he is a friend of my brother who lived with us for 2 months. We had a secret 'thing' going on, so i discreetly cried for him last night trying my very best to hide the pain.

ILL MISS YOU 'kuya'... he left today to work abroad... he said he'll be gone for 2 years. It's quite different here now, or at least for me. I cried the whole day, i was frustrated for the very short time I've known him, in a deeper level. I cried the whole day, coz i lost a brother, and most importantly, i lost a companion here at home ='(

"...? "

2008-07-01T03:40:00.000-07:00

How much do you treasure a past? How can a person affect you so much that you’ve spent two years of your life having different relationships, but still, yes still… you know it’s still him. How many times have you tried burning the bridges down? How long can you stand the endless impossibilities of that moment to happen again?

What is the purpose of a person investing his / her feelings for someone, only to find out that it’s not gonna be reciprocated at all. What is the bottom line of two individuals showing same affection, yet are questioned by their own feelings. What do you do when all you’ve done is to make him a better man, only to find out that you made yourself less of a person?

Where will I begin to start the many reasons on why I think he’s special? Where do you go when he starts to love someone new? Where did we stop and where did all these feelings started… again. Where am I in your heart, and where do I stand in your life?

Why do we always end up sending sweet messages yet we are only friends now. Why can I not know the reasons on why you’re still here, I lost you but not really. Why did I met you, remembering the very day you were introduced to me, I can’t help but ask myself… why did I fell for that one in a hundred smile.

When will something so special happen again? When do I tell you that I miss you, and this time you’ll believe it? When will I hug that special boy who made me realize that true enough, embraces are much sweeter than kisses. When can I hear from him that he appreciates me, even just the appreciation, that will do, he doesn’t have to love me.

Who is he, carrying the smile of a boy and the eyes of a lover? Who is that special someone that made me strong, made me selfless, and made me so happy all at the same time? Who is that boy I’ve asked God to take care of, that boy I will never forget, that boy who I believe will turn out to be a brave man after all.

Who is he and why do I miss him? When will I see him again and what will happen after? Where do we go from here and how will all these end?

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day. Letters to a Young Poet”

PS: as I write this, a message was sent to me from that special boy… he said he miss me =)

OVERLOADED LESSONS IN COLLEGE LIFE

2008-06-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry I wasn’t able to share my thoughts for a while; our computer needs to be reformat. Yeah some of my files were lost. The pictures were a-ok but, argh, my iTunes is gone! All the songs were gone! So much for my ipod =(

Anyway, that is the least of my concern, well not actually, I already have tons of songs on my ipod… damn… buhbye =( But the worst worry right now is my incoming semester when I enrolled 2 days ago and finally got my subjects.

I’ll give a little background first. I transferred school last school yr. but only stayed there for 1^st sem (because my mom thinks that this school will just worsen my tardiness) and so I went back to my old school for 2^nd sem. Whew, I missed a lot of subjects alright! Almost all of their subjects for 1^st sem became my back subjects, tell me… HOW AM I ABLE TO GRADUATE NOW?? =(

Because of that case, the very cool Ms. Lucero decided to put me to the section of the lower yrs. so that I can get their subjects and at the same time take my other 2 majors from my original batch. Yup yup, it was OVERLOADING… 32 UNITS… 40 thousand plus pesosesoses!!! For those who aren’t in college yet, this number of units is synonymous to headache, nosebleed, or suicide… depending on your capacity. Whew, I do hope it’s not suicide for me!

Honestly I’m scared, my main problem as a student is time management. Yes I am always late, and just when I thought the storm has ended, it rained again… I have 2 subjects with a 7AM schedule – BOTH MAJOR SUBJECTS. Ms. Lucero also said that if I fail even just one subject, there’s a possibility that they’d de-load me, meaning they would cut some of my units right in the middle of the semester… waaaah! God help me! Okay, for those who are asking why I let this happen, simple… this is the only way that I can graduate on time, see, I was supposed to be wearing a toga last march already. I guess my 1^st semester isn’t gonna be a splendid carousel after all, a dreadful roller coaster perhaps! I have no idea how I can possibly sustain a love life with that schedule. Well not that I am putting that on my priorities, but admit it, an inspiration may be of good help right?

I am starting to be cynical; I hope I can make it. For those who are only starting college, don’t ever dare to play around with your grades. This is close to the real world, you can’t just give an apple to the teacher to give you incentives. Be punctual, it didn’t became a habit for me… look what happened! Modesty aside but teachers always get disappointed because despite my academic capabilities, my records fail because of either disciplinary reasons (high school days) or attendance (college days).

I want to graduate, but I still want to be a student. It’s stressful, it’s a weekly dilemma… to gimmick or to study… to drink or to read… to pursue a lover or to push a goal. Hmm, brain freeeezeee! Hard to answer!

I guess whenever we will encounter these dilemmas though, always remember Bob Ong’s message:

"Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)."

Ooops, I think he has a better advice than this…=S

"Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba't-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan..."

There you go! I need not explain what the best option to consider is =)

THIS BAD HABIT!

2008-05-10T06:53:00.000-07:00

ARGH! My mom's in Boracay, my brothers are not here at home, and it’s raining really hard outside! The problem is: I HAVE NO WAY TO GET EVEN A STICK OF CIGARETTE! Shox, cigarette… I need YOSI! I can’t make poo poo without it, haha, seriously it helps *but I’m not telling you guys to try it*. I’ve been smoking since I was in high school, god it has been a habit already. I would smoke during vacants, in the cr, after classes, during gimmicks, just chillin’, and basically anywhere and anytime that my throat feels like puffing. THIS IS BAD! I know of course, how many times have I read and seen the effects (hundred and millions of effects, bad effects) of smoking to our body. But the thing is… it’s addictive, not that I don’t want to quit though, I want to but I can’t. WANT AND CAN’T… ONE OF THE HARDEST IRONIES IN LIFE, HAI!
I already checked my brother’s room, no yosi; it’s flooding outside, how am I able to buy yosi! Guess what, its 10pm and I haven’t taken a bath yet… I need my yosi first! This is not good, help me stop this; help me… help me stop the rain so I can buy yosi… hahaha!

IT'S OFFICIAL... I AM TAKEN...

2008-04-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

He is my boyfriend. He came into my life unexpectedly, I mean yes we can’t really expect someone to come into our lives, but to rephrase it: he came and touched my life surprisingly.

It was happiness, not bliss. It was challenging, not exciting. It was, or maybe, an answered prayer, yet incomplete. And like the quote says, he ended my sad story… but I’m afraid he’ll start another one.

Right now I really can’t define what a boyfriend should be; I can’t defend how a girlfriend is supposed to be. Am I doing it right? Is he worthy to be my significant other? Does he love me? I really don’t know! I’m so frustrated, I am in a relationship right now… but I don’t think I’m THAT happy. The wrong thing is I didn’t give myself the chance to get to know him better… but what’s new? I have been like this ever since, I believe that courtship isn’t necessary. I tell him I love him, my mind says yes, but there’s a little spark in my heart that seems to beat reluctantly. There are so many questions, questions that I shouldn’t be minding this soon.

A good friend told me a little background about him… NEGATIVE. Yup, I never heard a single good definition of him! I went to the comfort room the moment I knew about this, I cried, I was scared… wrong guy again?? There is no right guy actually, but I know that there is a BETTER one. He’s not that sweet, sometimes I can’t help but doubt him, and I just can’t trust him now… it’s too early! Why on earth did I put myself in this situation, I am now battling with my words, actions, and presumptions. Do I mean the ‘I love you’? Do I feel relief hugging him? Can I go on a day without doubting him? Well guess what, I am not just questioning him… I am even questioning myself too.

I have a boyfriend… that’s it… I can’t conclude further. I can’t say I’m in bliss, I’m excited, and I’m complete… that this is a happy story. I love him, I think I do… I always try to convince him that I love him… and maybe I’ll convince myself next time too. I am still yearning for that feeling of undefined happiness, I am still longing for that moment when all I could think about is how blessed I am to be loved by someone so worth it.

I DON’T KNOW HIM YET. I am in this relationship where i am afraid to wake up each day thinking that it will end right then and there. I suppose this is foolishness, but I’ve made up my mind, I’m willing to fight. Whoever he turns out to be, I won’t surrender, and this is my only defense… MY WORDS. I said I love him, and so I’ll prove it. Commitment is what I learned from my past and rubbish relationships.

I have a boyfriend… and I haven’t met HIM yet… wish me luck!

PA-BURGER KA NAMAN!

2008-04-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

GOT SOOOOO BORED THAT I MADE MYSELF A BURGER... WHAT'S WORSE?? I EVEN TOOK PICTURES OF IT... HAHAHA! BURGER BURGER BURGER!

AMERICAN IDOL'S DAVID COOK... FEED ME!!!

2008-04-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

C'MON HE'S MY NUMBER ONE BET FOR THIS SEASON'S AMERICAN IDOL... DAVID COOK'S HOT... sooooo hot (at least for me... again)... but i guess many would agree since the votes are still kicking for him =D

!!! he's a wonderful guitarist, but not very good at Guitar Hero.
!!! he has a left arm tattoo and a left handed as well..
!!! he's a word nerd. he likes to do crossword puzzles and word searches.
!!! his bday is december 20, 1983... not too old for me =D
!!! The "AC" on his guitar is actually a tribute to his older brother

His brothers' names are Andrew and Adam. The AC is for Adam.
!!! he dislikes "almost any vegetable" (tsk2... but i love veggies) =(
!!! hates to listen to his own music
!!! played on his high school baseball team (kewl!)
!!! he has a crush on Mandy Moore, but he's never really been interested in her music (good... kiddin')
!!! was born with a disease called poloricstinosis (wutever dat is,,haha)
!!! he almost always wears a key on a string around his neck (among other things). Sometimes he ties it around his wrist like a bracelet.
!!! his middle name is Roland by the way (nice one right?? i mean does anyone like their middle name? i dont! )
AFTER DAUGHTRY.... HERE COMES MY NEW AMERICAN IDOL LOVE... COOK!!! NAH.... ID STILL GO FOR DAUGHTRY.... HEHE!
BUT STILL VOTE FOR OOOKKKKK????!!!!!!

I REMEMBER NOKIA...

2008-04-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

I MISS YOU NOKIA... I AM TELLING MY FRIENDS STUFFS ABOUT YOU, HOPE YOU DON'T MIND... HAI...

"oo nga pala hindi nga pala tayo" - MIGRAINE

2008-03-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

OO NGA PALA, HINDI NGA PALA TAYO

hanggang dito na lang ako

i dont like her voice... the former vocalist is much better... but the essence of the song is enough for me to post a review about it here. the melody's catching at least, and its lyrics are simple yet... SAPUL! or maybe i just love pseudo relationship songs and this for one hit me.. hehe...

MIGRAINE

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito lang ako, nangangarap na mapa-sayo
Hindi sinasadya
Na hanapin pa ang lugar ko
Asan nga ba ako? Andiyan pa ba sa iyo?

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Nasusuka ako, kinakain na ang loob
Masakit na mga tuhod, kailangan bang lumuhod?
Gusto ko lang naman, yung totoo
yung tipong ang sagot, ay di rin isang tanong

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Asan ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Dahil, di na makatulog (makatulog)
Dahil di na makakain (makakain)
Dahil di na makatawa (makatawa)
Dahil, di na

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito na lang ako

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Asan ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo.. 2x
Nalilito..

KAILAN BA?

2008-03-23T10:43:00.000-07:00

Kailan ba masasabing ang ginagawa mo ay tama at ang ginagawa mo ay mali? Kapag nakaramdam ka ba ng pagsisisi o ng panghihinayang? Minsan naisip ko, sana di ko na lang to sinubukan, na sana di ko na lang pinansin ang magandang ihip ng hangin. Oo, hinayaan ko ang sarili kong liparin ng isang hanging ni minsan ay di saken sinabing iiwan din pala nya ko sa ere!

Ilang beses ko ba kailangan hilingin sa Diyos na bigyan pa KAME ng isa pang pagkakataon? Ilang gabi pa ba ang kailangan lumipas bago dumating ang araw na magkikita kame muli? Naghihintay… naghihintay… naghihintay… sa wala?! Para akong tanga: tinitignan ang mga letrato nya, binabasa ng paulit-ulit ang mga mensahe nya, pinapakinggan ang mga kantang nagpapaalala sa kanya, pati mga lugar na konektado sa kanya, binibigyan ko naren ng importansya! Sapat na ba yon? Kuntento na ba kong paulit-ulit na gawin yon? Syempre hinde… pero may karapatan PA BA kong humakbang papunta sa mundo nya? Ang gulo, sa totoo lang ang labo, sino ba nagsabe saken na maramdaman ko to? Sya ba o ako? Utak ko ba o ang puso? Kinakausap ko na sarili ko, mukhang malala na to! Anong magagawa ko… eh kahet naman ata kayo di nyo kaya sagutin mga problema nyo eh… aasa pa ba ko?

Ang tanging gusto ko lang naman eh makita ko sya ule… syempre aaminin ko, gusto ko sana handa ako… mahirap nang magpakita na mukha akong natalo ng ilang beses. Ilang beses nga ba ako natalo? Hmm… ah ewan! Kailangan ko syang makita uli, labo eh, kasi di ko makuha yung eksaktong dahilan kung bakit, basta ang alam ko… gusto ko magpapansin! Naman, uso sa mga babae yan, ilang beses dadaan sa harap ng kung sinong nakaraan nya, para lang ipakitang “hoy, maganda tong iniwan mo no!” Ang tanong, may pakialam pa kaya sila? O sadyang bulag na sila na kahet magsayaw ka pa ng hubad sa harapan nila eh dededmahin ka parin? Minsan ang gulo ng mga lalake, kadalasan madaya, pero ang mga babae, palaging tanga yan… alam na ngang loko loko, bumibigay paren… oo isa akong certified tanga! Di ko alam kung nalabas ko ng maigi yung nararamdaman ko, sanay kasi ako magdrama nang pa-inggles eh… it’s hard, no matter what I do… ah leche, ganon paren… malungkot paren, english o tagalog, matamlay paren!

Di ko na kailangan malaman kung kailan masasabing tama ba o mali ang ginagawa ko, usapang puso to eh… kahet mali pa yan… onting pakipot lang, bibigay din tayo (o anong iniisip nyo jan? tsk2)… basta ang alam ko eh nagsisisi at nanghihinayang ako! Bukas, sa susunod na linggo, o buwan o taon, ni minsan di ko na malalaman kung tama ba o mali ang ginawa ko… wala naren naman sya dba? Kaya di naren siguro importanteng malaman pa yon!

eh kailan naman ba masasabing tama o mali ang taong pinili nyo?

palagay ko kasi yung akin mali eh…

bakit mali?

ewan…

basta kailangan nya maging mali

the ambivalence of it all

RIP STEVE JOBS

MY MESSAGE TO JAMES SORIANO

CHIP IN FOR CHIP

TINGALA SA BABA

GAY TO THE WORLD

CRAYON DREAMS

ALIVE ALIVE!

VICTIMS OF LOVE

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

13 ROUND FRUITS

GREETINGS!! =)

REGINE MADE ME CRY

VINDICATED (Hubert Webb Acquitted)

CORY AQUINO'S SWEDISH MEATBALLS

THANKS!

ROSARIO

ON HUBERT WEBB

CONDOMS AND RH BILL

NANAY: Anak? Bawal makipag-sex. Bata ka pa! Baka mabuntis ka.ANAK: Bawal bawal ka diyan! And so what kung bata pa ako? Makikipag-sex ako kung gusto ko no. May condom naman. So hindi parin ako mabubuntis. Ang sarap kaya! Try mo!

HELLO BOY!

WANSAPANATAYM IS BACK!

IN A MAJOR WAY =)

FLIPTOP

KIDS OH KIDS!

JUST GOT INKED

TEAM G1BO!

WOW IT'S BEEEEN A LONG TIME!!

formspring.me

what's your favorite movie and why? :)

ANOTHER SCARY COMMUTE STORY

SADDENED

POV 6

MY GENTLEMAN IS BACK!

DIE-MOCRACY

TUMBLNG THE SITES

PRAYER MOUNTAIN

FLOODED WITH SCARS

EXHAUSTING

DRUNKEN LIFE

AT TARLAC

SECOND BEST

H1N1 PARANOIA

SHARKBAIT MEDIA SOLUTIONS' DOTS ENTERTAINMENT

ONE HELL OF A WEEK

THE RED ONE 4K CAMERA

THE SELFISH LOST A FRIEND

THE IDEAL GUY

SERVANT YOUR FACE!

ma-'TALIM' NA LATE TY ENTRY

MR. YM AND MR. BUTTON'S LESSONS ON TIME

EXHAUSTING

CHILD'S PLAY

TWO GUYS AND A POST

ANO BA YAN!!

RACE TO THE FINISH LINE

DONT JUST READ THEM... WIN THEM!

ONE MORE OINK...

GANON TALAGA SA BASTE?

DATING, READING, REBONDING

JUST STAND UP feat. mariah, beyonce, rihanna, etc.

SO LAST SEM SUCKS (fao is back!)

AUGUSTRATION!

"...? "

OVERLOADED LESSONS IN COLLEGE LIFE

THIS BAD HABIT!

IT'S OFFICIAL... I AM TAKEN...

PA-BURGER KA NAMAN!

AMERICAN IDOL'S DAVID COOK... FEED ME!!!

I REMEMBER NOKIA...

"oo nga pala hindi nga pala tayo" - MIGRAINE

KAILAN BA?

NANAY: Anak? Bawal makipag-sex. Bata ka pa! Baka mabuntis ka.
ANAK: Bawal bawal ka diyan! And so what kung bata pa ako? Makikipag-sex ako kung gusto ko no. May condom naman. So hindi parin ako mabubuntis. Ang sarap kaya! Try mo!