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How much do you treasure a past? How can a person affect you so much that you’ve spent two years of your life having different relationships, but still, yes still… you know it’s still him. How many times have you tried burning the bridges down? How long can you stand the endless impossibilities of that moment to happen again?

What is the purpose of a person investing his / her feelings for someone, only to find out that it’s not gonna be reciprocated at all. What is the bottom line of two individuals showing same affection, yet are questioned by their own feelings. What do you do when all you’ve done is to make him a better man, only to find out that you made yourself less of a person?

Where will I begin to start the many reasons on why I think he’s special? Where do you go when he starts to love someone new? Where did we stop and where did all these feelings started… again. Where am I in your heart, and where do I stand in your life?

Why do we always end up sending sweet messages yet we are only friends now. Why can I not know the reasons on why you’re still here, I lost you but not really. Why did I met you, remembering the very day you were introduced to me, I can’t help but ask myself… why did I fell for that one in a hundred smile.

When will something so special happen again? When do I tell you that I miss you, and this time you’ll believe it? When will I hug that special boy who made me realize that true enough, embraces are much sweeter than kisses. When can I hear from him that he appreciates me, even just the appreciation, that will do, he doesn’t have to love me.

Who is he, carrying the smile of a boy and the eyes of a lover? Who is that special someone that made me strong, made me selfless, and made me so happy all at the same time? Who is that boy I’ve asked God to take care of, that boy I will never forget, that boy who I believe will turn out to be a brave man after all.

Who is he and why do I miss him? When will I see him again and what will happen after? Where do we go from here and how will all these end?

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day. Letters to a Young Poet”

PS: as I write this, a message was sent to me from that special boy… he said he miss me =)