Sunday, April 30, 2006

AGAIN I GO UNNOTICED - dashboard confessional

So quiet
Another wasted night,
The television steals
The conversation
Exhale
Another wasted breath,
Again it goes unnoticed.


Please tell me you're
Just feeling tired
'cause if it's more than
That I feel that I might break
Out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything
But signals that are mixed
Cause I can't read
Your rolling eyes
Out of touch,
Are we out of time?

Close lipped
Another goodnight kiss
Is robbed of all it's passion,
Your grip
Another time, is slack
It leaves me feeling empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow
Maybe you'll feel better then
Maybe we'll be better then
So what's another day
When I can't bear
These nights of thoughts
Of going on without you
This mood of yours is temporary
It seems worth the wait
To see your smile again
Out of the corner of your eye
Won't be the only way
You'll look at me then


contrary to the song,, im actually happy being 'unnoticed',, it’s not like I didn’t try at all!

Monday, April 17, 2006

It Was Easter (darksis!)



It was easter Sunday and I went to starbucks too meet my kada from high school. We collectively call ourselves “darksisters” (but it was originally called 'Montiel'). We’ve been together for 4years now (well, I’ve been w/ them for 3years though since I’m a new student when we were in 3rd yr). It’s sad to know that we get to meet each other once in a while only since we’re all in college already (except for kats, but she will be soon!).

We decided to meet up to celebrate our day *15* (our anniversary is Feb.15), but yesterday was 16, so it was a belated celebration. Nine of us came, peby, kats, meg (w/ her bf nathan), joyce, fetoo, zai, kevin, rexzy & yours truly. The main thing that made this day special was the time when kats initiated to finally say something about the never ending fight between rexzy & kevin over zai. It’s almost a year since this brawl started. I mean, we’re a group, and this is not healthy. It didn’t started well though but as both sides was heard, and resolutions were somehow laid on the table, big smiles and deafening laughter finally came out.

Those left (me, joyce, zai, fetoo kevin and rexzy) decided to go to Off D Grill. Argh, the country song is irritating, the heat was infuriating and we just really have to leave. We transferred to Pier1, rexzy, kevin and zai ordered food while the rest preferred to drink. It was kuya joff who assisted us (whatever, hehe). It was nice to look at them, in one table full of laughter. It’s really been a long time since we got to share stories without any feeling of awkwardness and hesitations. We’ve blabbed about stories of wistfulness, to college life, and practically to everything funny and good source of gag.

Finally, we decided to go home, and I guess everything turned out well. As rexzy puts it, let them be ‘casual friends’, and I agree, it’s safer that way. I just hope that there is still some room for forgiveness, and I know there is… pride should be over and done.

I love you darksis, and though I’ve met a lot of kadas after high school, though I’ve had my own kada after high school… those in my high school days can still never be replaced. We are beautiful and we are judged, we are stubborn yet we have matured (I hope), but the ‘cute’ laughter and ‘sweet’ tears we’ve shared is what’s important.

It was Easter Sunday, and we celebrated a friendship reborn.


Sunday, April 2, 2006

AFTER A WHILE

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesnt mean leaning and
company doesnt mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses arent contracts
and presents arent promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your
head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an
adult, not the grief of a child, And you learn to build
all your roads on today because tomorrows
ground is too uncertain for plans.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if
you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own
soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you
flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
That you really are strong, and you really do have
worth.
And you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn!