Saturday, October 6, 2007

ONE DAY AT THE MALL

I was supposed to say hi to you; yes I was supposed to approach you. I was with my girl friends, and you we’re all alone. In the right corner of my eye I noticed a cute guy walking across the coffee shop. We we’re headed there too, but my friends decided to check the movie schedules first. It was you, I knew it was you. We finally then went to the coffee shop after… and you weren’t there anymore?

After burning our lungs out and drowning ourselves with caffeine, we then went to the movie house. The movie was good, the people at the back were earsplitting (especially there god damn phones), and I am not in the mood for anything that my other friends seems to enjoy doing. There was something about that guy I saw a while ago that haunts my every step in the mall. After the movie, we continued our shopping journey (and I ended up buying a 5 inch high Havaianas, haha). As we we’re about to go out the mall… I saw him! The one I saw headed to the coffee shop… it’s him again, this time standing outside a restaurant!

I can’t help but stare at him; it’s as if I haven’t seen him for ages. He looked my way, we we’re analyzing each others’ faces… maybe to make sure that we we’re gazing at the right person. I was correct then, he was my past lover. I never thought I’d see him that soon. Along with those stares are questions on how he has been after we’ve parted ways. I was happy to see him alone honestly, looks like we weren’t on the same track in the recovery chase… that’s what I’ve concluded to myself. I mean I had a boyfriend after him, his best friend said he hasn’t even courted anyone yet.

As soon as we got each other’s attention, I stepped forward and forward (almost half across him)… and then of course, my friend interrupted the moment: shouted, grabbed my hand, and showed a text message from her crush! Like, duh?? After reading the message and giving a plastic smile and supportive comment, I then went to where my ex was.

He didn’t saw me this time, something probably caught his attention. But to my dismay, it’s not something… but someone. He went in the restaurant and approached this beautiful lady, like a couple dying to meet again… like what I felt when I saw him. I was stuck up for some seconds. That joy on his face, that walk full of nervousness and confidence combined… that excitement, everything was so familiar! My friends had no idea that I was in the middle of the mall staring at a guy I care about so dearly, watching him listen eagerly to the girl beside him. Hard to admit, they make a good couple. I turned my back, walked away, and finally went off the mall. My friends asked me what happened… I just smiled and said nothing. I was obviously wrong, maybe we’re on the same track in the recovery chase. Or maybe the girl his with is just a friend, nothing more than that. But whatever she is to him, I think my last resort is to be happy, I had my own share of new relationship… it’s his turn now. Sometimes befriending your pasts isn’t as easy as it sounds like, it takes a lot of courage actually. He was the one who doesn’t like the idea in the first place, so I was a bit surprised to see him accommodate my smile. But these pasts of yours are the people you once shared your heart with. These are the characters in your life that at one point we’re considered your prince and princesses. But unlike the fairy tale, the battle doesn’t always have a happy ending. Nevertheless, let’s not close the door for friendship. After mending the broken heart, why not open it for a new purpose, the art of loving someone you’ve loved before… only in a different approach. An ex is synonymous to a ‘former lover’, not to an ‘enemy’. Hurt does lead to anger… but time also lead to forgiveness. You may not forget the pain he gave you, but that is just because you don’t want to forget the love you’ve given. Let’s not dwell in the past, yes, such a cliché… but clichés are clichés for a reason. I mean, why not focus on the future and on the better possibilities of both of you as an individual, than settle yourself on the past and all it’s impossibilities of both of you as a couple!

Hours after leaving the mall, he sent a text message asking me why I didn’t even bother to approach and greet him outside the restaurant, I didn’t reply. But I was supposed to say hi to you, I was supposed to approach you… but someone else caught your attention.

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