Sunday, September 2, 2012

TEMPORARILY

Almost 4hours stuck in traffic from last night's sudden rain! #flood #manilatraffic #southtonorth #sundo (Taken with Instagram)

  That 4 hours was filled with both quality talks and silence while looking outside the car window pondering on whatever catches my sight, or depending on the music. The day before this, Sunday, was also my day of service at Victory. Attending service makes me excited about Sunday, it's like going to my place of sanity. 

   I related these two incidents because they both left me the thought: "some friends are temporary". I don't know how pastors do it, but sometimes they really hit the innermost silence of the heart. Same with my companion last night, he was just randomly telling a story, but I remembered my own sentiments just the same. 

  See I have lost a friend just recently, caused by reasons I am honestly not sure of. I cannot say I am clueless but a good explanation would be great right? This is just one of an old story's effect... or consequences? The negligence of 'the old story' to change has affected so many already. I am just concerned on how someone's irresponsibility has caused friendships and good times. You cannot get forgiveness or even a slight understanding from people, if you can't even figure out or accept that you did them wrong. I never wanted to write anything about what you did, what transpired, just basically ANYTHING ABOUT YOU, though blogging could have been a good (not great) outlet for me at that time, I chose not to write about it. Why? Because I don't like to invite opinions from those WHO KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IT. About us. But when I saw a friend being caught in the middle, I can't help but turn my thoughts into writing.   

   It just puzzled me so much on why he would choose to end friendship with me, when I know for myself that I understand how hard it is for him to be in the middle. Well at least that is what he is trying to tell me. But the worst part is, talking about friendship as if we were never there for him at all. I didn't get mad, instead felt sad and yeah, hurt of course. For as long as I can remember, I did share some generous time listening to him as he narrates his worries, problems, etc. And for as long as I can remember too, he was one of my first guy friends at work (former one) who assured me of his trust. I'm sorry though if this post would heighten his anger towards me (for whatever reason, I don't know), you chose to end it anyway. But please, don't write anything about friendship, especially if you will intentionally address it to me, coz I would scream to disagree. I would rather have some post like this and be mad at me, than be oblivious with whatever it is I said or done. 

   Like what is mentioned above, "friendship is temporary", but that happens rarely. In the first place, there is no such thing as a 'short term friend'. And if someone would decide to end a friendship out of reasons that maybe I am not worthy to hear, then probably there is really a person worth keeping only for a certain period of time. 

   Friends are not temporary. Friends are not there only for convenience's sake. I wouldn't want to talk about it here, but you speaking about friendship, as if I have given you a bad one, is hurtful. I very seldom need you for my personal life, thinking that you have your own struggle, and on that rare occasion that I did need you... well, never mind. I am confident that I never said or did anything that would cause you to cut social network connections between us, and if I did, I would appreciate you telling it to my face. 

   I wouldn't be your temporary friend, I think I would still be there for you in case you would need a tap on the back. And however 'the old story' has influenced you, or even if he didn't, I would still be open to hear you out. I have so many friends and you are just one of them, but as long as I know that I even chose to understand your predicament to actually deserve this treatment, is unacceptable. 

   Okay I'm done ranting here. Lemme focus with the permanent ones now, cheers!


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